Until We Meet Again (Sirius x OFC)

Part 1 - Chapter 6: Trust

Time went by without any other incidents. At last, Christmas came around. It was the weekend before the holidays that the students were allowed to go to Hogsmeade again. I spent the day writing a rune translation – anything that kept me somewhat busy at the moment was welcome. It was late when there was a frantic knock at my door. I opened it with the swish of my wand and Harry came running into the small chamber.

He looked angry, confused and to my horror – he looked disappointed, as if he knew something. "You didn't tell me he was my Godfather. You didn't... you didn't tell me you had been together, that he betrayed my parents. You told me nothing."

"Harry, first of all... calm down..."

"No, I... I trusted you!"

I closed the door behind him, a thousand thoughts rushing through my mind. Never had I seen him this agitated before. "Please, sit..."

Harry took a deep breath and then did what I said. "I overheard some people. Is it true?"

Reluctantly, I nodded and tried to stay calm. "Yes... Sirius and I were engaged. He and your dad were best friends, they had secrets with each other that even I and Lily didn't know, so it is hard to tell what really happened. The night... your parents died, someone must have told You-Know-Who where they were. Only Sirius could have done it, to our knowledge."

"So they're dead because of him? And youdidn't know that he was a Death Eater?" Harry asked, on the verge of freaking out again.

By now I had a hard time suppressing my own emotions. "I didn't, and I would have never thought that he was. He hated them with a passion... He was the last person you'd expect to betray his friends."

"And yet he did," Harry said through clenched teeth. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was selfish. I was afraid you'd blame me, too... I... I do so ever since it happened. And so did everyone else."

Harry looked at me for a long while, calming down, sympathizing with me as it seemed. I could see that he tried to understand my point of view. But I guess it was hard to do so considering what had happened. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"It's okay, I understand... I'm sorry you had to find out this way..." I blinked away a few tears and looked at him intently. "Just know that if I had known about his plan... I would have done anything to prevent it. I loved your parents, I still do. Knowing them was my greatest honor."

Harry looked more sad than angry now. "So, Professor Lupin knows, too?"

I nodded. "He does, he was and still is my best friend. You have to know... that it was hard for all of us, the war... the sacrifices we had to make. Remus had been left with the knowledge that all of his friends had either been killed or betrayed him. And everyone accused me of conspiring after that night, assumed I was a Death Eater, too. Most people even told the Ministry to lock me up in Azkaban as well."

"But they didn't?"

"No, because Dumbledore and a few others weren't as quick to judge," I explained. "Some people pitied me for how I had been played, for how blind and brainwashed they thought I was. And many others are suspicious until now. I trust you understand what it's like to be stared at."

Harry sighed. "I do. Thank you for telling me this. I'm sorry for what he did to you. And Professor Lupin."

"You don't need to be," I said. And then Harry left, leaving me numb. I had told him as much as I could, but I didn't dare make him any false hopes by admitting that I believed in Sirius's innocence. Sometimes, my conviction faltered, too, and it was dangerous to let your hopes consume you. One of these thoughts overheard by the wrong person could send me to Azkaban.