Part 2 - Chapter 34: Making Plans

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The next morning was the first in weeks that I awoke in Sirius's embrace, feeling his breath against my skin. He was still asleep, holding me loosely, his face only inches from mine while our limbs were entangled. His skin against mine under our blanket was what kept me from freezing in the cold bedroom. We hadn't reignited the fire last night, but I'd always rather have him keep me warm anyway.

He stirred awake then as well, blinking in the half-dark room, only a tiny bit of light coming in through a crack in the curtains. I watched him open his eyes, running my hand over his stubbly cheek.

"Good morning," he murmured, voice raspy.

"Good morning, my love."

He smiled at that. "Am I?"

"What?"

"Your love, still."

"Of course you are, silly," I said. "The day I stop loving you is the day I have my heart ripped out."

"Oh, well, that sounds dramatic," he replied with a chuckle. "But I feel the same way."

"I'm glad you do. I thought you... wouldn't feel anything anymore."

"I..." He sighed and ran a hand over his still sleepy face. "I heard you talk with Remus last night. I didn't mean to, I was just scared when you suddenly slipped out of bed, so I wanted to see where you were... make sure that you're not leaving... and then I heard your voices. As soon as I realized you were being confidential, I left. I only heard that you said you felt like I didn't love you anymore."

"I see."

The expression on his face was full of fear. "It scared the hell out of me to hear you question our relationship. I never... I never meant to treat you so badly." He took a deep breath. "Please, forgive me, Ally."

"You do realize we can't go on like this, right?" I asked and Sirius nodded. "I get that you're in pain and that... many things are occupying your mind, because I feel the same way and the missions that you so envy are not helping because they terrify me... but I need us to be strong, Sirius. I need to be able to rely on this at least, if I can't rely on anything else."

"I get that, I really do," he said. "I'm sorry... I was in a tunnel and didn't know how to get out again. I can't promise that I won't need to be alone for a bit once in a while, but I vow to be better with you."

"It's okay if you need alone time, that was never the problem," I explained. "I just want... to see that you still love me from time to time."

He smiled at me sadly. "I guess that would be good for myself as well. Last night really helped me feel better again. Sometimes I'm so stuck inside my head that I forget just how much I need you, Ally."

"I guess I'll try my best to remind you," I mumbled before I kissed him softly.

Sirius pulled me closer and for a while we just lay there. I had missed those lazy mornings with him, and I knew they were not a magical remedy for what was wrong, but it still felt good.

After a while, Sirius broke away. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Okay." I laughed and he waited awfully long to continue. "Don't be so mysterious, please."

He smirked at that. "Marry me, Ally."

I furrowed my brow. "We are already engaged, baby."

"I know and I don't mean engagement. I mean let us marry."

"As in... right now?"

"As in... as soon as possible."

I couldn't hide my laughter. "Is it legal to marry a convicted murderer?"

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