The Shank And The Crank

The Walls (Part 6)

Minho

I didn't stop once. If I stop, then I think. If I think, I will think about Newt. How if I just didn't let him go alone, he would be alive and well. Then I'll start crying, because Newt is the only thing good about this shuck place. And once I start crying, I might never stop.
  After hours of running, I turned back so I didn't miss the walls. But it would be kind of nice to be out here all night, minus the grievers, then I won't have to see Newt or anyone. But I have to go back. Because if I don't, I'll definitely die.
But I can't tell if that's a bad thing or not.
  I get back to the glade and walk right back to my hammock, and crash on it. For a good two hours, I went unbothered. I stared up at the stars and wondered what life was like in the real world. Then Alby came and sat on the floor next to my hammock.
  "You've been busy." He says casually. I just nod, not really wanting to talk. "So am I ever going to know what happened with you or are you just going to keep pretending like nothings wrong?" I grunt.
"Dude, your going to implode on yourself if you don't tell me what's wrong."
  "Nothing is wrong! Ok! I'm totally fine!" I yell at him. "I'm fine." I say weakly. Am I though?
  "You can tell me, you know. I won't go running off to tell the whole glade."
  "Tell the whole glade what?"
  He stands up and walks towards me. "You like Newt, don't you?"
  I stand up with him and pace around the small space. "As a friend, yeah." I say as convincingly as I could.
  "No, I meant like.. more than that."
  "As family?"
  "You love him! I see the way you look at him, how you are just so caring and compassionate around him, and now that he's basically on the line between life and death you just shut down. I know! So don't lie."
  "Alby, I don't..."
  "Minho! I'm not stupid! You love that boy. And I know he loves you back. I can see it in his eyes everyday. Every sneaky glance he makes towards you."
  I sigh. "Fine! I like him! Is that what you want to hear? But I can't show it. Who knows what Nick or better yet the whole glade will think of us. And not to mention he is unconscious as we speak."
  "Yeah, but you don't have to hide your true feelings from me. You'll feel a lot better once you just show how you feel about all of this and-"
  "I can't! Can't you see I can't? I'll start crying and I'm afraid once I start I'll never stop! Newt was the only thing good about this whole place and now he's gone-"
  "He may still have a chance-"
  "No! I can't keep lying to myself over and over! Because then I'll give myself hope. Then once he dies that feeling of hope will add to the already black gaping hole inside me. I can't let that happen."
"Well Fine then. Be that way. I'm trying to help, Minho. I don't want you being reckless. Not out there," He points towards the wall and shakes his head. Then he walks out and away.

Get up. Run. Go to bed. That was my schedule for the next three days. It would have been four if it haven't rained. Stupid rain.
So instead of running, I went to my favorite spot in the forest to skip rocks on the pond. It was private and it was calming. It kept my mind off Newt.
So I was skipping rocks. All day. It got repetitive, yes, but I liked it. Then I went back to my hammock when it got dark and just laid there. Thinking. Thinking about how sad my life is without Newt. Thinking about how he's made me so happy. How I wished he loved me like I loved him. But he doesn't. And that breaks my heart.

  The next day I was walking towards the walls to go out and run when someone screamed my name. I turned around and saw Alby running full speed towards me. "MINHO!" He screamed. "MINHO WAIT!" He caught up to me and it took him a couple of seconds to catch his breath. "Minho... he's.... he's awake." He says between breaths. My eyes widen and my heart skips a beat.
  Before I even process what I'm doing, I had dropped my running bag on the floor and ran towards the glade's hospital. I ran in and ran to where they were keeping Newt. I opened the door to his room quietly and saw him tying his shoes. One of his legs was wrapped in something. I knocked on the door and he turned around.