Part 32

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"They say that right before you die your whole life flashes before you – a medley of your own personal greatest hits. Well then, I must be about to live, because events that haven't happened yet are constantly pushing themselves into my head."

-Emlyn Chand

~

I was still waiting for Emma to tell me what really happened. It had been nearly two days since we last hung out and since then she still hadn't told me the truth about what happened between her and Ian. She still didn't know that I knew. The longer she 'hid' it the more I began to doubt her innocence.

If she didn't feel something for him she wouldn't have to keep hiding what happened. She must feel something.

"What are you thinking about?" Emma asked as she sat across the room braiding her hair.

"Nothing." I lied as I looked at her. She was wearing a pale pink sweater and pajama bottoms.

It was starting to feel like all our conversations were the same. Like she was always trying to get in my head and mind fuck me? I was somewhere between wanting to trust her and knowing I shouldn't.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked hoping to start a conversation.

I didn't know what was real anymore. Of all things, I wanted things between us to be real. Maybe I was becoming paranoid, but we didn't feel real anymore.

She tied the end of her braid before sighing. "Nothing."

There was a long silence. Something was definitely wrong and it was clear both of us noticed but didn't want to talk about it.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Emma asked turning in her seat towards me.

Are you going to tell me the truth?

"Do you want me to?" I asked curiously. She shrugged. I don't know what answer I was hoping for, but that wasn't it.

"I think I should go," I said as I stood up and looked for my shoes.

If I wanted to be around fake people I'd hang out with people from school.

Suddenly, Emma was holding my arm stopping me.

"Don't go. I'm sorry. It's just-I'm sorry. Can you please just stay? Let's talk." She said softly like she was afraid that if I left I would never return.

I took her hand and walked over to her bed before sitting down and pulling her down into my lap.

"I'll stay," I said softly into her hair.

If staying meant finally knowing the truth, I'd stay. Even if it meant getting hurt. I think waiting for the blow to come is a lot worse than when it actually does. Then again, I've never had my heart broken before.

Her head was leaned against my chest as she played with my shirt, but said nothing.

"What do you wanna talk about?" I asked hoping to get rid of the heaviness in the air.

"I don't know." She said not even lifting her head.

I had a few ideas.

I played with the end of her braid with one hand while holding her to me with the other.

Although she was right in my arms it felt like she was slipping away. I wasn't ready for her to slip away.

"Well, Rebecca and Devon broke up," I said breaking the silence.

If we weren't ready to face our own problems the least we could talk about others.

She laughed. "Wow, I didn't know you were such a gossip queen."

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