A bunch of oneshots

(I said what, what, in) the butt

Tord's POV
I layed down on the couch face first. My housemates had left me alone in the house. I didn't understand why, but I decided I would enjoy the silence while I could.

I yawned when I felt something jump onto my ass and lay there.

"Goddamnit Ringo, not again!"

Ringo was a stubborn cat, she would not move. I supposed she found my rear to be the perfect place for her cat naps.

I guess it's sort of a compliment, right?

My ass is so great even cats love it.
I laughed a bit at my own stupid thoughts.

"Ringo please get off of my butt", I pleaded to no avail.

The damn tabby only ever listened to her owner, and occasionally Tom.
I didn't want to roll over or knock her off in fear of harming the feline.
Edd would kill me. So I waited, and waited, and waited...

I must've been there for hours before Edd finally came home with the guys and scolded his companion.

I will never lay chest down again.