•Harlem's Story :
• Written In Harlems POV •
Nicki died a year later.
And no, before you go feeling sorry for her, thinking it was some kind of Liver or Kidney failure or whatever, it wasn't. She was one of the lucky ones. God gave her a second chance. She was given a Kidney transplant and sent home healthier than any of us had ever seen her but then of course she messed it all up and went back to her old shitty ways.
We came home from my grandmas one weekend and found her in the bath with a needle sticking out of her arm. She over dosed and drowned.
"I'm so sorry." Ms Washington my therapist, said sincerely.
Don't be. I hate her. She broke my dads heart when she died, he wasn't the same after that.
People always tell me stories about how much she loved us but it's all bullshit, because if she did, she would have fought. You kno? The first time she got sick she almost died but then she was given another chance and instead of her trying to get her life right for us. She got hooked again, and again and again, until it finally killed her.
She was so fucked up man... guess that explains why I'm here right now. Like mother like daughter, right?
"You said your father wasn't the same after she passed. Can you go into a little more detail?"
It was like he was broken. I never saw him like that before, not even when my grandma died.
You know he didn't talk to nobody for 6 months? Like we really didn't hear that mans voice for half a year. He shut the whole world out, including me. My uncles, aunties and rest of our family all tried getting him out of the house, to help him get back on his feet, but he refused, he just wanted to sit in the house all day drinking, crying over her and so that's what he did.
Ms Washington leaned forward like she didn't want to miss what I was about to say next "And where is Dave now?" Washington waited. "Harlem I'm going to need you to speak sweetie."
I don't know okay! He left. Just like she did!
He couldn't handle it so he left... Sometimes I think he never really loved me. I think the only person he ever truly cared about was her and when she was gone nothing mattered anymore. I didn't matter anymore.
Isn't that crazy? She loved herself and drugs more than she ever loved him and more than her own kids. And he loved her, more than himself or me.
I hate them both.
"Who looked after you when your father left?"
I stayed with my Aunt Laira sometimes or my grandmother. Whoever would have us really. All those dudes my mom slept with, random niggas who claimed to love her while she was alive, turned out to be complete pieces of shit. That Marcus guy stuck around longer than the rest but six months after her funeral he upped and disappeared. He left my grandma some money to look out for us though, sent us presents at Christmas and stuff...I saw Jayceon a few years back, he acted like he never knew me. I don't blame him. She broke his heart.
"That's beautiful can I see?" Ms Washington asked, gesturing to the gold charm bracelet I was wearing.
It was hers.
She looked over her glasses surprised "I thought you hated her."
I do, but even I can admit the bitch had some nice shit. This is the only thing I kept.
"What about your brother & sister? What happened to them?"
Bronx went to live with Khyree. I didn't get to see him much since Khyree decided to move to Chicago 2 months after she died. The last I heard Bronx was exactly like his dad, a fucked up dope dealer and in & out of jail. I think he's locked up right now. Ion really know or care. The first time he got locked up I went to visit him and he told me he didn't have shot for me and that I shouldn't come back.
"And Brooklyn?" She pressed, she knew what she was doing and I wasn't about to play her game.
I don't wanna talk about it no more.
"Harlem wait. Talking about it will help, that's the whole reason we're here."
No, the reason I'm here is because that selfish bitch loved herself more than she loved her own kids.
"Harlem what happened to Brooklyn?" She asked again.
Its right there in my file why don't you read it.
"I have. But I wanna hear it from you. A piece of paper only gives me part of the story" Ms Washington explained.
Brooklyn's dead...And it's all my fault. I was selfish and careless. She was my baby sister and I put her in a situation that costs her life.
I was suppose to protect her. I wanted Brooklyn to be better than us. But I failed, she went out just like Nicki did. I should've never took her to that party and I should've never left her with those animals because then maybe she'd still be here.
"When was the last time you saw Izzy? That's Brooklyn's father right? You briefly mentioned him in our last session."
I'm the reason his baby girl is gone. What do you think? He's inviting me over for Thanksgiving and Christmas? Him and his entire family hate me. The last thing he said to me was that I was just like my mother. And Ms Washington I've been stabbed, shot at and beat unconscious but nothing ever hit me harder than when he said those words to me.
"I appreciate you telling me this. Speaking about your mom and siblings. I know this must be hard for you."
I can't go out like that, I just can't. I need- I want help. My mother was an addict and so am I. Im afraid I haven't been myself since she died but I'm also afraid I have and that I'm just like her. She spent her life high, preying on men and breaking their hearts. I'm 19 and for the last four years my life has been the same. I've slept around and pumped myself up with poison to numb the pain of losing everyone around me.
I'm scared Ms Washington, I'm scared and...I...I miss her, I miss Nicki, I miss my mom.
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THE END.
I don't know if anyone still reads but my bad for the delayed finale I should've finished this YEARS ago. It's been sitting in my drafts since 2021!
