Nerds {Wyatt Oleff}

19. You can't hear it, but I'm sorry

What did I do? What did I do?

I tapped my pen on my desk while repeating the question in my head.

I'd seen her. She was okay. But suddenly she wasn't and what could I do?

I just ran.

  I sighed and looked around my bedroom. It was dark with exception of my desk that was lit with a small lamp. Dark like my emotions at the time.

I had no idea how it all happened or how it was my fault.

It was just my fault.

I stood up and moved to my bed, letting my lamp continue to be the only light source, the only bright thing in the room. I usually felt bright, but lately my well being had started to flicker.

(Lmao. Spongebob: Then who turned out the lights?
*Everyone turns to see angsty Jonah flickering the lights*
I'll stop now.)

My hands ran through my hair while my thoughts ran wild. They all stopped at a certain memory.

I was at the library late one night looking for To Kill A Mockingbird for my most recent English assignment. I already had a few Shakespearean novels for my personal reading filling my carrying space of my right arm. There were few people there as I intended. I didn't plan on letting anyone know that I liked to read anytime soon.

  Since there were so little people I assumed I was alone in my section and walked forwards only looking at the books. After a few steps I was met with a small barrier that I had knocked over, that barrier being a person.

My books fell to the floor next to her and she hurried to pick them up while muttering apologies.

  "I'm not worried about the books. Are you okay? I didn't mean to bump into you, I wasn't paying attention. I'm so sorry," I rambled as I helped her up and she looked at my books. 
"Shakespeare?" She asked me before smiling up at me. Her eyes were filled with shock like mine as were recognized each other.

The girl was Y/N.

"Uh...thanks. Don't sorry about bumping into me, just don't do it again,"
I said while trying to sound cold, but sounding weaker than planned.

  I grabbed my books out of her hand and our fingers brushed each other before I turned away and rushed to the bathroom on the first floor.

  After entering the poorly lit restroom, I put my books down and stopped in front of the sink and splashed my face with water. I needed something to cool down my face that felt very hot.

Why were my cheeks so warm?

I looked up at the mirror to see that under the water, my cheeks were in fact tinted pink.

Remembering that day caused me to groan in frustration. Did I really want to do these things anymore? Wyatt's father was a cold, power hungry man. Why would I help him?

  What was my reasoning for being such a cold person all the time? I'd just end up like him or my own parents. Wyatt didn't deserve it, Y/N didn't deserve it. Did I deserve it? Was it too late to change?

Questions everywhere but where are the answers?

I thought for a while about what I should do before walking back to my desk.

I pushed aside my papers to see a note I had written the day I had bumped into Y/N at the library. I read through it down to the bottom where a piece was ripped off. The part that had the only three words that could properly describe how I felt.

I put the note away and picked up my phone. My decision was made.

As I messaged the person where to meet me I couldn't help but think

I hope no one gets hurt

But me.

Double update, completed. The plot has thickened.

If you've seen my other book that says what other things I plan to write, comment what book you want me to publish next.

-❀Adreona❀