South Park Boyfriend Scenarios

pet you adopt together

Kenny McCormick – Karen really wanted a pet, but you and Kenny both knew that she wouldn’t be able to have it in her parents’ home. So, you took her to the pet shop, where she picked out an adorable beagle puppy and named it “Nickel”. He stays at your house, but Karen is welcome to visit him, and you, any time.

Stan Marsh – Stan already has Sparky, but you thought you could get him a boyfriend. That made you go to the pet shop and pick out an adorable black lab to be named “Thunder”. The two dogs immediately got along, and now you and Stan can go on walks with your dogs together.

Kyle Broflovski – His mother was completely against it, which inspired you more, but you bought a teeny, tiny snake for the two of you to take care of together. Her name is ‘Things’, so you and Kyle can say you’re going to take care of Things without his mother getting too suspicious.

Eric Cartman – During the crisis of cats and their urine, you helped Cartman take care of all of the kitties that came into the neighborhood. One was this calico, adult female that immediately cuddled up to the two of you. You worried that she already had an owner, but when all of the cats were returned home, she hadn’t been claimed, so you and Cartman took her in. You didn’t know her name at first, but whenever she’d get scared because of a noise, Cartman would call her a chicken, and she started responding to it. So her name became ‘Chicken’.

Clyde Donovan – Jacklyn is the cutest duck that anyone has ever seen. She is very much loved by you both, and helps you control the army of darkness during Stick of Truth, and is your sidekick during Fractured But Whole.

Craig Tucker – How many guinea pigs is too many, exactly? You and Craig adopted another one, a female this time, to counter his male Stripe the Second. You didn’t really think it through, though, because the precious babies had babies and now you guys are taking care of seven guinea pigs, from Stripe and his beautiful wife, Bella, to all of your teeny, tiny babies.

Token Black – You were on your way to visit Token when you saw a small gecko in the pet shop window. You almost died at how cute the little guy was, and immediately told Token to meet you there. He came down, and fell in love with the gecko as well. You named him as a team, and his name was “He-He”, after the chicken in Moana.

Tweek Tweak – The pressure of having an animal could make Tweek completely combust, so you compromised by buying two goldfishes. Their names are “Marshmallow” and “Pancakes”, as your nicknames for one another go.

Butters Stotch – Butters’ parents wouldn’t let him get a pet, and you had nowhere for it to go, so you two agreed to wait on getting a pet… at least until you two got your own place.

Wendy Testaburger – You love goats, and Wendy always thought they were cute, so you two adopt a baby goat named Elmer. Elmer is very clumsy, but he recognizes you and his other mother very quickly, and will galloped at you two with full speed, barreling you over.

Bebe Stevens – Bebe had come to visit you once when you were at work, and she saw this pure blond kitten pad his way over to the two of you within the Cat Room. He had curled into a ball in her lap, purring and giving her lots of affection before falling asleep. Since there was a surplus of cats in the shelter, they were free to take home, and she asked if you two could take him home. You agreed, and now “Charlie” was your first addition to your family.

Jimmy Valmer – When considering an animal, you have to recognize that a lot of the bigger creatures would knock Valmer over as soon as they tried to love on him. So, with that and his comedic nature in mind, you purchased a parrot for Jimmy for his birthday. Now he and Fish Sticks can do their own comedy routine for you whenever they want to.

Scott Malkinson – Scott is allergic to a lot of animals, but, amazingly, he isn’t allergic to puppies, so you two went to the animal shelter and picked out an adorable Pitbull, who was already full grown and had had a rough past home. You two agreed that Hulk, as the puppy’s name was, didn’t deserve to be without a family just because he had a bad past, so you adopted him immediately.