The Way The World Ends ✓

Chapter 10. Indigo

~

Let me be no nearer

In death's dream kingdom

~

         The next morning, I woke up with puffy eyes. Awesome. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and realized I had woken up before my alarm. It made sense. I had fallen asleep around seven last night, which also explained the loud grumbling coming from my stomach. I stood up and went to the bathroom mirror to stare at myself for a good five minutes, willing my face to calm down. When I realized my willpower wasn't strong enough to physically alter myself, I flopped sideways onto my bed and picked up my phone, opening it before I could read the sample text from Nate. My chest hurt.

Nate: I'm sorry about earlier. Sometimes I get a little intense. I should have followed you. What happened? Did I say something?

I checked the time stamp. 8:07 last night. I was sleeping by then. I instantly felt guilty for running away from him, but I knew it was what I had to do unless I wanted to have an anxiety attack right in front of him. Given the options, I was okay with my choice. I felt even more guilty still that he was probably waiting for me to text back last night and must have thought I was freezing him out when in reality I was sleeping. But really, who goes to bed that early? He wouldn't have thought that.

Indigo: It wasn't you, trust me. Sorry for running. I was a little intense too. I fell asleep last night, otherwise I would have texted you back.

I got up to go to the bathroom and I washed my face. It was burning from embarrassment, but it was almost impossible to scrub the shame away from my face. I started to get ready for school, knowing that I wasn't going back to sleep any time soon. I picked up my phone after a few minutes, not expecting him to be up, much less, reply, but he did within minutes of my text. My heart beat just a little faster when I read his response.

Nate: Are we still on for this afternoon?

I wanted to say no. It would be safer to say no. I could avoid all interaction and just forget about a friendship or whatever the hell this was turning into and hit the reset button. I could just pretend none of this ever happened. But was that what I really wanted? There were so many possibilities that came with all of the horrible scenarios that my brain cooked up. Could it be worth it? Could I be worth it? There was so much at risk, so much unknown but at the same time, so much to gain. I couldn't hide forever in my shell. So, I went with my gut.

Indigo: Yes. If you still want to.

I thought I would feel fear strike my heart when I hit send, but I didn't. I felt excited. I couldn't wait for him to reply. I was even suppressing a smile. For some reason, this idea of him didn't scare me like I was scared of everything else in this world. I didn't know what it was about him, but something felt right. Something felt safe.

Nate: I'm the one who asked you! Just project work anyway, right? ;)

I smiled to myself. Was this flirting? I was pretty dull when it came to the finer aspects of social interaction, but even I could tell that there was some interest. I texted back a safe answer.

Indigo: Yeah.

Nate: Again, a woman of few words.

Indigo: I know :)

I couldn't help but keep smiling to myself. For some reason, this boy forgave me for whatever happened yesterday and all of the awkward moments that I created.