The Way The World Ends ✓

Chapter 25. Indigo

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Here we go round the prickly pear

At five o'clock in the morning.

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I didn't go to school Monday. Instead, I spent the day wandering around the house, trying to expand my bubble. I had to do it for Nate. He believed in me, and I knew that for him, I could do it. I walked around the kitchen for a while, slowing my heart rate while I snacked on dry cereal. I was determined to expand my circle, but I had to do it one step at a time, literally. I wandered from the kitchen to the living room, dry cereal still in hand, and into the front hallway. I even dropped a sprinkling of cereal for Petunia, who lapped it up. After spending so much time with Bo, I was reluctantly developing a certain fondness for Petunia. We still didn't like each other, but we had a mutual understanding now. I wouldn't bug her, and she wouldn't bug me in return for some food every once in a while.

Around noon, I worked up the nerve to go outside. I got into my car, still clad in warm sweats after pulling on winter boots, and started her up. I drove around the entire town for two hours, a strange calm settling over me when I saw the same things over and over again. I knew what to expect. My car was some sort of limbo; nothing could happen to me because everything was just put on pause while I listened to songs I knew Nate would have been singing along to loudly. My body felt normal. I didn't know if I was still in shock or if Nate's confidence in me was really working. Either way, I was okay today. Maybe it was because of what he said yesterday: that even though Sonny was coming back, it wasn't today. Today was today, and today I was free. When I finally decided I'd had enough of driving around, I ventured back to my safest place: my room. I gave Petunia a reluctant pat on the head while I climbed up the stairs, and settled onto my bed, kicking my winter boots off so they thunked onto the floor at the foot of my bed. I texted Nate, excited to share my news.

I went outside today!

I didn't expect him to text back right away, assuming he was in class at one in the afternoon, but my phone buzzed within a minute.

That's great!

I rolled my eyes with a smile, even though I knew he couldn't see me, and cheekily texted him again.

Aren't you supposed to be in class? ;)

About that... I'm not at school. Can you come over?

When I read his reply, my chest seized up. What was wrong? Why wasn't he at school? Was it because of me? I didn't know if he'd gotten himself into something, but I hoped it wasn't serious. Of course, if it was serious he would have texted me, right? I quickly replied,

Yes.

I turned my car back on, glad the heat from my drive hadn't dissipated yet. I drove to Nate's house, speeding slightly, but not enough to feel bad about it. Something made me worry about him. My stomach tied in knots, but I realized the level of panic wasn't as bad as it had been yesterday. Or the day before. Or the day before that. I was slowly getting better again, thankfully sooner rather than later. However, I will still worried. I would always be worried because it was a part of me. But who wouldn't be worried about their boyfriend? Was Nate okay?

I turned the car off and immediately ran up to the front door, which was already cracked open. I saw half of Nate's face peek through the door before he slowly opened it, as if afraid to show me the rest of himself. He kept his head turned to the right so half of his face was in shadow. I knew he was hiding something from me. He always canted his head when he was embarrassed or sheepish. I was about to hug him in greeting, but I stopped in the doorway when I came close enough to see the rest of his face clearly. He right eye was starting to blacken. His knuckles were bleeding. He looked pale and defeated, shoulders slumped and eyes downcast.