Recovery // Seth Rollins

8

Today should be a good day. I was laying in the arms, naked of who I'm pretty sure is the love of my life. He had spent hours making me feel things no man ever had. Instead, I laid awake wanting morning more than for his arms to be off me. Today marked the day.

Three years ago today was by far the worst day of my life. It was the the last beating, but it left more of a scar than the others. I had quit work six months before hand. I couldn't take the abuse coming home at 4:30am after work anymore. I couldn't stand the abuse.

Instead of smiling and feeling content in Colby's arms, I wondered if he would ever turn out like Nathaniel. If he would ever raise his hand the way Nathaniel did. When I looked in Colby's eyes, I didn't see that darkness it him, I didn't see that hate. But I also never saw it in Nathaniel's eyes in the beginning. Could Colby ever hit me? Would he ever turn on me? Since Nathaniel, I had an immense fear of commitment. I had avoided all kinds of relationships until Colby. Colby changed all that.

I had offended wondered in past few days, how I was going to tell Colby, if ever. Fear of rejection was something I had grown quite close to in the past few years. I feared that if another man learned of my past he would think low of me. Deep down, I care a lot about what people think of me, it's hurts me when people who don't even know me think so low. It was another thing that scared me about being this close to Colby, hate. Sure all my social media's were on private, but someone always finds away to spread it, don't they?

I knew today would not be an easy day. Everyone had a full day off before packing up and flying to the next city tomorrow. I wanted nothing more than to be locked in my hotel room, curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. I found safety in sitting in the corner of the room, even though I was trapped and had no where to go. I looked back at the man sleeping behind me.

He deserved to know, right? But would he think differently of me? His arm squeezed around my waist, a small sign that he was stirring.

"Enjoying the view?" His voice was rough and raspy. His eyes stayed closed but he smiled, nuzzling his head into my neck. I didn't know what the time was, I didn't check. Time scared me.

"Hmm yes I am" I whispered back, turning my head back to looking at the sheer curtains. The morning daylight swept through the hotel room, as kookaburra's could be heard in the distance. Without even thinking, I pulled the trigger on my fears. "Wanna go somewhere today? Just the two of us?" I asked Colby, not looking at him.

I felt his lips turn up against my skin, "I like the sound of that" he said before kissing my neck lightly. Finally, I gained the courage to look at the clock.

9:30am

We had gone at it for hours, and didn't fall asleep until 4am. "Wanna go the the spencer street DFO? There's Starbucks" I asked, finally getting out of Colby's warm embrace.

"Whatever you want babe" he replied, stretching before getting up. I went through the plan in my head as we got ready for the day. I had slipped back to my hotel room as Colby quickly changed. I ran over what I sad going to say in my head, over and over. In one way, I hoped that practising would make everything okay in the end if he didn't accept it and men. At least I told someone right?

Colby and I walked hand in hand around the shopping centre. We looked and felt like a couple. We stopped for Colby to take a few photos, the little kids putting Colby in headlocks. I stood back and watched Colby interact with the little ones, it was so cute and adorable. It made me wonder when Colby wanted kids, if he wanted kids. I was getting ahead of myself, but I couldn't help but question and watch in awe of him.

We wandered around, Colby having to chase after me after I disappeared into numerous shops. My hands were full with bags from Typo, Windsor Smith, Supre and factorie. Colby immediately took them out of my hands despite my protests. He was truly a gentleman, it was rare to see now days. We walked in to Starbucks and Colby sighed with content as the smell of coffee beans surrounded us.