Honey Lips

{thirty-five}

"Mmm, baby, I don't understand this
You're changing, I can't stand it
My heart can't take this damage
And the way I feel, can't stand it"

     I slowly sit up, or at least attempt to. Miguel gently pushes me down to my original position. "I don't want you to hurt yourself," he says. I furrow my eyebrows and look around the room. Clearly, I'm in a hospital. The pungent scent of sanitizer and medical supplies give that away. The only question is . . . why?

     "Miguel?" I whisper. Miguel nods his head and inches closer to me. "Tell me what happened."

     Miguel sighs, a dead giveaway that he doesn't want to bring it up. "Tell me," I repeat.

     Miguel nods his head, long locks falling from behind his ear. "Ray . . . you remember him?"

     "The odd uncle?"

     Miguel nods. "He was after my family's riches. You know, everything we've inherited after my father's passing and other things." He pulls at his scalp and lowers his head in shame. "Fuck, I should've known he'd pull a stunt like this! Lydia, I'm so sorry."

     On cue, my hand moves to hover over the wound I received from Ray. Again, I furrow my eyebrows. "For?"

     "It's my fault you're in this hospital bed. I was suppose to protect you. I was so blinded that I didn't even see my own fucking kin attack. He used you so he could get to me."

     "Why would he use me?"

     "Bella," Miguel croaks as he grabs my hand. "You're my weakness. I'd do anything to protect you. Anything."

     I smile through the tears and motion for him to come closer. Miguel stands up and takes a seat beside me on the bed. Absorbing all that courage, I pull his chin down and place my mouth on his. This kiss, secluded and passionate, gave me all the conformation I needed. Miguel Acosta stole my heart, and I'm never getting it back.

     As I lay in the squeaky hospital bed, I recollect everything mom taught me when I was younger. My eyes zoned out on the cork ceiling with minimal cracks, and I just reminisced.

     "Lydia Emery," mom cooed as I snuggled next to her in bed. Her soft palm stroked my bruised cheek that I'd received from an eleven year old bully at school. It wasn't my fault that she spilt her chocolate milk down her brand-new white blouse the same time I walked by her. At least, I don't think it was. Daniel, being the overprotective big brother he is, swooped in and saved the day a couple minutes too late. Her first connected with my cheek within seconds. "My lovely," she repeats.

     I sniffle and wipe my face with my pink fleece sleeve. "Yes?"

     "In time that nasty bruise will heal, you wanna know why?" I swallow thickly and nod against her chest. "Because you are a strong girl, healthy and unique. You are stronger than you think. That girl was your friend before, correct?" Again, I nod. Camryn Jenkins and I were friends before. As most friendships go, we sort of drifted apart. I thought we would at least be friendly to each other, but I don't believe a punch to the face is a so called greeting. "Looks are deceiving my lovely. Be careful who you trust with that golden heart of yours. You may never know when someone may enter your life and take it away from you," reaching down, she pecks my forehead. "Until it's too late."

     "Lydia," an outside voice calls. I blink a few times, shaking away the nostalgia, and renter reality. "How are you feeling?"

     It has been a few days since the invasion of Ray. Daniel had barely left my side, only leaving when Miguel gives him that eye. "Better. And yourself?" I motion down to the wheelchair that supports my brother.

     "Same, even better as you heal too." Daniel parks his wheelchair beside me. I turn on my side and give him my undivided attention.

     "Daniel?"

     "Hm?"

     "Why didn't you tell me?"

     Daniel huffs, he knew this conversation would turn up eventually. As always, I've been giving him the space he needs and deserves. "When I was in eighth grade, I had my first kiss. It wasn't with a girl though, you remember Timothy Baker?" I roll my eyes and nod. Timothy was also a bully, you know, the kind that pulled on your pigtails and 'cut' your hair. He was an asshole, period. "Well, it was after school and we were sitting on the bleachers. He kept talking about girls and how he wanted to shove his tongue down their throats." Daniel laughed and clutched his stomach. "Crazy that a thirteen year old could think like that. Anyways, one thing led to another, and I told him I'd never had my first kiss. He teased me a bit, but then, he just—he started leaning in—and then boom—we were kissing."

     I sat up when a tear slipped from Daniels eye. Grabbing his hand, I whisper that he didn't have to continue. "No, I have to. When we were kissing, it was like a flip switched inside my brain. Kissing him felt like the most natural, most comforting thing ever. To be frank, I didn't want it to end. It didn't last long though. A group of our friends saw us and Timothy pushed me away from him so hard that I fell off the bleachers and busted my lip."

     I gasp and bring my hand up to my mouth. That small scar on the corner of Daniels lower lip is a constant reminder of that day and how it went south. "I remember that. Mom was so angry because of your lip!"

     Daniel smiled. "I never told that to anyone Lydia. Timothy told the boys that saw us to keep quiet to save his reputation. I don't know what happened to him, but I just know that I'm glad that kiss happened. It changed me, Lydia."

     "Okay, but that doesn't explain why you just left."

     "I—I was afraid that you wouldn't accept me. Dad and Gina, I didn't want to be a disappointment."

     I scoff and swing my legs over the bed. "Are you kidding?! Daniel, I'm happy for you. This," I point to him and to Stephan, who stands outside the door. "This is who you are. Who gives a fuck what other people say about it! You are my big brother, my knight in shining armor, and I will always support you no matter what. I love you."

     Daniel smiles and opens his arms. I leap off the bed, ignoring the slight pain in my back, at wrap my arms around him. Resting my face in his neck, I state "don't let anyone tell you how to live your life. You may never know when someone may enter your life and sweep you off your feet," I raise my head a tad to see Stephan staring at us through the window. Mommas words swirl around my mind, like an angry hurricane. "Until it's too late."

♪ — changes by XXXTENTACION

r.i.p.