{thirty-eight}

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"If you show me what you were thinking ofLet me get inside your mindIf you show me love it'll be enoughIt'll be a better night"

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"If you show me what you were thinking of
Let me get inside your mind
If you show me love it'll be enough
It'll be a better night"

"If you show me what you were thinking ofLet me get inside your mindIf you show me love it'll be enoughIt'll be a better night"

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

It was done. The man with no face, who had been Ray the whole time, was gone. When I stroll down the streets, hand in hand with my love, I didn't feel unsafe. I didn't have the urge to look over my shoulder. Every once in a while, I find myself holding my stomach where a big oval scar adorns my skin. It was a constant reminder that my weakness had blossomed into determination to fight back. That determination made me strong in a way that I could conquer anything that came in my path. Rays absence made the world seem much more clear. The weight of fear from the Acosta family eased, and no one had to wear a fake smile to prove they were okay.

The Christmas lights still glistened around every streetlight even after the holiday past. Roseville was a wonderland and everyone was bubbly for more. Today, New Year's Eve, was a day I found myself missing my momma the most. I saw her in the snowflakes that molded the snow together like she molded our family as one. I saw her in the lights that changed about the color wheel like her various moods. Better yet, I saw her in the dead rose bushes, and though it might sound dark at first, I know that she'll blossom back in the spring and bring beauty to this world.

There were many things that made me happy now. The new friends I had aquatinted made my heart warm. Though I continued to have my bad days, as many do, happiness overcame them. It was a constant reminder to smile at myself in the mirror despite my flaws. Even the haircut I received days ago made me feel beautiful. My brunette locks ended just above my collarbone. Haircuts were a love/hate ordeal. But they were new. And I wanted new.

In the midst of our window shopping, I find myself approaching a window of a jewelry store. Shiny necklaces rested upon the fabric bust that imitates a neck. Gold, rose gold, white gold, pearls; the options were endless, and I was completely entranced.

"Bella," Miguel says. "They're beautiful aren't they?" I look up at my reflection and notice how my head is aligned perfectly to a bust. The beautiful white gold necklace with a single diamond circle pendant. I could never imagine myself wearing the expensive jewelry, however, that doesn't mean I can't dream of it.

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