Her Secret

twenty six | happy vs. content

After the most romantic night of my life was spent with an unsuspecting Zach Dawson, I unfortunately find myself back at the hospital for another round of chemo.

A big part of me is extremely saddened over the fact that I can't plan a future with Zach, but another part of myself is content with how things have gone for me. It's obvious I wasn't dealt the best hand, but I sure as hell wasn't dealt the worst.

Dylan had an important math test today, so much to his dismay he wasn't able to come with me today. Instead I'm here with my mom and dad, and for once I don't have to pretend to be content, because I am.

I don't know if I should be happier, but this is the best I've felt in a while so I'm not going to dwell on it.

My parents were busying themselves with mundane tasks when I felt the need to tell them that I'm okay.

"Hey guys?" I asked, waiting for their attention. They both looked up at me and put down their books and papers giving me their undivided attention, probably thinking something is wrong.

"You know I'm okay, right?" I start, watching both of their faces fall when they realize what I'm doing.

"What do you mean, honey?" My dad gently asks, sending my mom a look of concern. I smile at that, how his love for her is still as prominent as ever even with everything going on.

"I just wanted to tell you guys that despite everything, I'm happy." I explain as I watch them both tear up at my revelation. Seeing my mom cry is always an emotional experience, but when my macho dad tears up I can feel my eyes tear up as well.

"Sweetie, I'm so sorry that this had to happen to you." My mom explains through her tears as she reaches out to grab my hand. I give her a squeeze in return while I send her a small smile.

"Don't be." I say with a genuine smile. "You guys have done everything right, and for that I just want to say thank you."

----

After the emotional conversation with my parents, my chemo for the day had finished and I was moved onto a wheelchair while my mom went to talk to my doctor and my dad went to grab the car.

I used to get really upset when I was left out of the conversations with my doctors, but recently it hasn't been bothering me too much. Which is why as I sit in the lobby of the hospital I'm not thinking of anything else but curling up in my bed and having a nice long nap when I get home.

I'm brought out of my trance when I feel someone kiss my cheek and begin moving my chair. I open my eyes and turn my head slightly to see that it's none other than my boyfriend Zach Dawson.

I send him a sleepy confused smile as I take a moment to appreciate how truly gorgeous he is before my sleepiness kicks in and forces me to close my eyes again.

He's wearing a plain black t-shirt with dark blue jeans. He is the epitome of casual gorgeousness with his muscles threatening to break out of his shirt and his grey eyes that are such a stark contrast from his tan skin.

"Hey, you." He starts with a smile as he wheels me to the kiss n' ride.

"Hi." I respond with another small smile before resting my head on the chair and closing my eyes again. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Dylan told me your chemo finished now and I thought I'd come grab you for a surprise." Zach explained as he parked the chair on the curb in front of his car before coming to help me stand up.

"Another surprise?" I ask with a smile when I'm finally standing. "I'm not sure how much energy I have for a surprise right now." I sadly admit as he grabs one of my hands and wraps his free arm around my back to guide me to his car.

"I know, gorgeous." Zach says with a smile as he opens his door but doesn't make a move to help me get in which causes me to look at him in confusion. "Which is why we're going to take a nap at my place first."

"Hmm, okay." I say with a smile as he gives me a few pecks on the lips before finally helping me get in his car.

I watch with sleepy eyes as he returns the wheelchair to the lobby of the hospital, taking the moment to appreciate how lucky I am to have someone like him in my life.

He returns to the car and asks me if I need anything before carefully pulling out of the parking lot and driving back to his house.

After arriving at Zach's house and him helping me walk five incredibly slow steps, he very gently picks me up and carries me bridal style through his house and into his bedroom.

I let out a small smile as I rest my head against his chest and allow his alluring scent to surround me in a peaceful state of bliss.

"Thank you." I say with a small smile as he takes us up the stairs of his home. "For everything, Zach. You don't know how much it means to me."

And with that I fall into a deep slumber, missing his response.

----

Zach's POV (You're welcome ;))

Leena's words effectively bring me to a halt once I get to the top of my staircase. I'm not too sure why, but it feels as though she's said her goodbye which is something I can't accept.

This little angel in my arms has slowly become everything right in my world, and even though a huge part of myself knows I shouldn't become too dependent on her, I can't help it.

Our trip together was the most fun I've had, learning about her in her natural element was more refreshing than I intended.

I wasn't ever sure why I couldn't bring myself to open moms letter, and for a long time it ate away at me. I felt as though I was failing her as a son, not being able to even read what she wanted me to fulfill for her.

But then I took Leena on the trip with me and I instantly knew why I hesitated for so long. She was meant to go with me, and I don't care if that makes me sound like the cheesiest fucker out there because it's true.

That trip helped heal me, helped me mourn my mom and bond with my Leena. And hearing that she's been sick this whole time shocked me to my very core. It's something I couldn't wrap my head around, because surely the world wouldn't be so cruel as to take away both my mom and Leena.

Last night was probably the best night of my life. Leena and I connected in a way I didn't think possible. I let out a little smile at how cheesy this girl has made me, but I can't help it.

And I know that's what Leena believes this is her end, but I can't allow myself to think like that. So, instead of focusing too hard on what sounded too much like a goodbye for my liking, I give her a delicate kiss on her forehead and murmur words that she can no longer hear.

"I think I know." I whisper with a smile.

"You have to be okay, Leena." I admit as I place her gently on my bed and remove her slippers. I know she's asleep and maybe that's why I'm being so open with her. "I love you too much to lose you, please don't leave me." I plead as a tear slips down my cheek.

I quickly wipe it away and get comfortable beside her, bringing her close to me as gently as I can. I'm not sure what the future has in store for us, but as I lay with Leena in my arms, I'm as content as I can be.