Darkness Taking Dawn- Lars Ulrich Fanfiction

I Will Be There Once More

Hold on to the thread
The currents will shift
Glide me towards you
know something's left
And we're all allowed
To dream of the next
Oh,
oh the next, time we touch
Uh huh, uh huh
Uh huh, uh huh
You don't have to stray
The oceans away
Waves roll in my thoughts
Hold tight the ring
The sea will rise
Please stand by the shore
Oh, oh, oh, I will be
I will be there once more - Pearl Jam
Sooner or later I knew I was going to have to Norway. Yet I was trying to put that off as much as possible. I knew the answer was right in front of me yet looking into what was figuratively her own personal mental labyrinth turned me off the wrong way. It didn't seem right to me to be poking into the crevices of her mind. If what Fenriz and what Lilly say are true than everything about her is locked in that house. Everything about her has been left there decaying since she has died. Yet, since they have both stated that they never went there since she has died it should still be in the same condition that Rita left it.
I sighed once more looking downwards towards the book Rita left me at her hearing. No Longer Human is one of the many things that have plagued my nights ever since she has died. I have neglected to read it and along with that I have neglected to read the note she has left behind in the wake of her death. I've only merely skimmed through the suicide note once and have vowed to never even glance at it again. And knowing how those paparazzi idiots act to knew information about any deceased rock star the note would've been sold for someone else's profit and gain. It just wasn't worth it opening up the book. It felt like I was degrading her to even still hold onto this thing, but nonetheless I decided that it was finally the time to open up this book for once and for all. It was finally time to start to put this thing to rest.
'Dear Lars,
Forgive me for the sudden goodbye. I know I've been a terrible liar to you and to everyone that has surrounded me. You were always so caring and always wanted me to tell you about the things that haunted me at night. But it wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth you turning me away, because I knew that if you knew everything about me you would've figured me to be deranged, delusional, or mentally ill. I could not risk that. Despite what you may think I did love you. I sorry you had to find out about my ailments this way. I won't ask you to forgive me that would be asking for too much, but I will plead with you to forget me. I'm not worth the time nor energy. You will always be my favorite Danish boy. Remember, Ob la di, ob-la-da, life goes on, bra
La-la, how the life goes on.
Love
Rita'
The sloppy writing ended there, but the unorganized writings seemed to only get even more and more visibly incoherent as it continued. It must've hurt her as much to write this as it is for me to read this. But despite this I still had to chuckle in-spite of herself. She still adored the Beatles. Even when facing death she still managed to laugh at it with one of the songs she loved the most.
I closed the book and almost broke down in tears. Yet still I had to laugh. 'You still kept your sense of humor even when writing a note of this caliber.' I had to say to myself.
I sighed collecting myself before looking through my contacts once more. I already went to Lilly and Fenriz. I most likely won't be able to get in contact with any of those other guys from Norway and Sweden until I go over there, but who could I call now? I sighed once more once a few certain contacts came into me vision. The guys from Slayer would have no trouble talking to me about Rita despite their touring dates. The same goes with the guys from Anthrax. They'd gladly tell me anything they knew about Rita. However, the problem would arise when I would have to confront the guys from Megadeth, namely Mustaine, about Rita when she was alive. Ellefson was the calmer of the two and I knew I would have no issue talking to him, but confiding in Mustaine would surely prove to be a pain in the ass knowing his distaste towards me, and mine towards him. He hates me more than Lilly does, and that's saying something.
I would have to call him later, but right now I had to see if I could get any coordinates of Rita's housing arrangements from somebody. That would prove to be a challenge knowing Lilly doesn't want to even contact me and Fenriz would most likely not pick up if I were to call and ask him for some help.
But who else would know that location? Those guys in Norway and Sweden won't come out unless I go to them personally. Toni and Joanna don't even know that place exists, and neither do any of those guys from Anthrax or Slayer. And the only band  that toured with The Virgin Suicides constantly and also went to Scandinavia with them was Megadeth. 'Damnit!' I yelled out to myself in frustration. 'Well I guess I would have to call him one way or another.' I figured. 'It's best to just get it over with and call him up.'
I stared down at my phone once more for a couple of seconds before dialing him up. As the phone rang I couldn't help, but grumble to myself in annoyance knowing that he was the only person I could confront about Rita.
As the time seems to pass by like hours waves roll in my thoughts. All of this is for her and her alone. She's that dear and precious to me. I just have to hold onto this thread and hope that the currents will shift and glide me towards you. All I'm asking if you is to please stand by the shore, and I will be there once more.