How To Be A Bitch (On Hold)

➸ three: compulsive liar

➸ three: compulsive liar

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After all the things that had happened to me in the past 24 hours or more, it seemed as though my whole life was hanging on a cliff. Just one little push and it would go falling down to the darkness below having absolutely no idea whatsoever where the darkness would lead me. I didn't want my life to be this way. I never planned for it to. But the gravitational pull that I was experiencing in my heart was something that was irrevocable. 

Jayne told me in the morning that to be a bitch didn't mean just not being particularly nice. It had a lot of pros and cons. The only con being that people wouldn't like you. At all. But you had to learn to be okay with that. No matter what people did or told to hurt you, you should let it go even if it makes your heart constrict in a painful way. At least, that's what I learned from my big sister who herself is a bitch extraordinaire.

To be a bitch, you need to be many things. A bitch, to begin with, and then a compulsive liar. And I'm not talking about the "i'm staying in because my mom told me to not because i don't want to go" kind of lies. A compulsive liar actually lies about each and every aspect of his or her life. If you want to be pathological liar, you need to lie about everything from buying a cat to selling your dog. (Just an example.)

So that's what I tried to do the morning before I went to school after my discovery of the horrible truth that Grace had so ungracefully hidden from me. 

I tried to lie.

That morning, I lied about almost everything from not flushing the toilet to having a pain in my stomach as an excuse for not eating my breakfast until I realized that those were just small lies. The lies that I told were basic lies waiting to be modified into bigger ones because telling lies made me feel uncomfortable. Maybe it was because of the fact that I wasn't that big of a liar before I decided to change and all that shit or maybe it was because my tongue just wasn't made for lying. 

Lying gave me an unknown feeling deep inside the hollow pit in my stomach ( if there is even one ) like an almost empty feeling. It was as if my body wanted me to learn how to lie in a proper way instead of doing it in a totally uncomfortable and confusing manner. But to do that, I needed to try until I would officially become a compulsive liar.

So I decided that to master the art of lying, I need to try and lie about every little aspect of my life. The triplets kind of helped me do that as they were so stupid that they actually believed each and every one of my lies making me wonder if I actually was such a good liar.

Of course, I was wrong. 

It was the triplets that I was talking about anyways. 

∆

As I got out from my 789 Chevy - whom I've named as Diana by the way - I got a wierd feeling in my stomach. It felt as though any second I was going to pass out and the headache I was currently experiencing wasn't helping at all. 

The headache actually, wasn't caused by natural causes. It was because of the really really tight bandana tied on my head like a head-band. It was a part of the outfit that Jayne had specially coordinated for me in her head. Her head, for christ's sake!

I had on a very ripped white jeans with black combat boots and a black Nirvana tee on with a leather jacket which seemed like the type of clothing only a gangster would put and actually pull off. I wasn't looking very bad in my new outfit thought - I think - because as soon as I stepped out of my Chevy, the huge racket that was going on outside on the school compound turned into hushed murmurs as though they were afraid that I was going to chop off every single student's head off.