How To Be A Bitch (On Hold)

➸ eleven: like bonnie, like clyde

➸ eleven: like bonnie, like clyde

 ⋜ i will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. and when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people. ⋝

My parents taught me something about relationships when I was growing up. Love, they said, is the epitome for disaster if we didn't know what we were heading towards. Love is like a storm. Fierce and disastrous. I understand what they meant by that now but tell that to a ten year old who fell irrevocably in love with a boy, without completely understand what 'love' actually was, then there is a hundred and two percent chance that the girl will not understand what her dad[s] were talking about.

To be honest, everything seemed so simple back then when we were kids. One small act was all it took for me to fall in love with Ashton. One small act of kindness and maybe even love. Ashton always made me feel special and I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't mistake his act of kindness for a mutual feeling of love. Don't blame me. Blame the person who told that actions speak louder than words. 

Because they do. Actions, I mean. What words often cannot depict, actions go on to do the job and it's not always in the most beautiful manner. Actions can show hundreds and millions of things. They can make you feel happy, loved and secure. But sometimes, actions can hurt us in ways we never thought would be possible. 

But nothing will ever hurt us more than a broken heart. That's why Paul and Carl said that love is harmful, it's toxic and it's absolutely terrifying if we aren't careful. 

And that's why, when I start to fall, I am careful enough to catch myself before I fall too deep.

∆

It was suffice to say that I knew Daniel all too well by now because of the amount of time I had been spending with him for the last few months. It was true in some way but I still didn't know anything about his past life. Who he was before he left his town and came to live here, I didn't know any of those things. And that was the reason why I asked Daniel the exact same question on Wednesday while we were fooling around in the Calculus class. 

His reaction wasn't what I'd expected though. His body stiffened and the curve formed on his lips turned into a frown. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, "besides, I don't want your opinion of me to change." 

I stare at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Daniel smiled at me but it wasn't the kind of smile that put stars in his eyes and a dazzle on his lips. It was an almost sad smile. "I'm not the person you think I am, Caroline."

And just like that he closed the topic entirely and I couldn't do anything but nod softly and stare at nothing in particular letting my thoughts consume my brain for a few minutes. Daniel's cold exterior scared me. It made me feel as though I didn't know him at all and that thought scared me more than the way he was starting to close all the walls surrounding him. Again.

∆

I'm not the person you think I am.

What the heck does that even mean? I hated Daniel and his eight confusing words right now. The only thing that was going on in my head till the end of the school was those fucking eight words. It scared me to an extent where I started to imagine Daniel as the son of a mafia or ― even though it means the same thing, I don't give a shit ― some bad guy with a gun. It would be cool, I mean Daniel would totally look hotter ― if that's even possible ― with a leather jacket, raybans and a gun in his hand.