Church Singer

10

Here it was. The last day of summer. The day we'd part for college.

Katia has been gone for a week since her family went on vacation. She went on some beach and the pictures she'd post would just make me miss her more.

Today was also the day she'd come home. The last day we'd be together.

Yeah, you heard me right.

I know what I said before. I know I told her that I'd keep her for as long as I can but I couldn't do this. I couldn't juggle my school work with my relationship.

I couldn't do that. I know I sounded like a filthy bastard, sacrificing my first relationship for my dreams, but it was for her good too.

Katia came from a different school, she told me how she wasn't prepped for pre med, how she spent a year focusing on english studies at her school.

She didn't take math and science for a whole year. She needed to be focused and with me around, we'd simply be snogging in my room.

I'd be ruining both our dreams. Becoming a doctor was hard and we both needed all the focus we could get.

I hear a knock on the door and swing it open. As expected, there she was.

I put on a fake smile for her and she smiles back at me, her tan evident making her even more beautiful.

"Oh, Oz. You should've been there! I missed you the whole time." She says and flings herself at me, standing on her tip toes and kissing me fully on the mouth.

I kiss her back and pull away, giving her a smile.

"I missed you too, Katia." I tell her and kiss her on the forehead once.

She walks inside my house and sits down on the couch.

I sit next to her and she sits on my lap like she always does, peppering kisses on my cheek.

"Oh you should've seen the little baby bear cubs! They were so fluffy, Oz! They were the cutest." She says and I sigh.

No, you're the cutest. I wanted to say that to her. I wanted to give her all the compliments in the book but I couldn't.

I had to break it off.

"That's nice, Katia. I'm glad you enjoyed your trip. Listen, I have to tell you something." I tell her and set her right beside me.

She suddenly looks serious and stares right at me, giving me her undivided attention.

"Katia, we need a break." I tell her and her eyes instantly go wide.

Suddenly her lower lip wobbles and tears stream out of her eyes.

"A-a break? Wasn't my vacation enough? I-I missed you, did you miss me too?" She asks and I shake my head.

I stare right at her and take off my glasses, not wanting to clearly see her face when I explain it to her.

"Katia, I don't mean a temporary one." I tell her and she frowns, wiping at her tears.

She suddenly sits on my lap again, shaking her head.

"B-but what did I do? You told me you'd keep me as long as you could. You told me, Oz!" She says and I sigh, shaking my head.

Oh fuck, this was harder than I thought.

"I-I don't understand, Oz. I thought you loved me back." She says and her tears flow non-stop.

She wipes at her tears and I feel my heart burst. I feel my chest in pain, watching her hurt, knowing I hurt her.

"I do, I still do. Look, I don't want to do this but I have to." I tell her and she shakes her head.

"T-then d-don't. Stay with me." She says, a sobbing mess.

I do all I can to stop my own tears from flowing.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

"Katia, I have to do this! You don't get it. I love you, I really do but is it really worth sacrificing our dreams for it? We're both becoming doctors, it's going to be hard and we can't... we can't distract each other." I tell her and she doesn't say anything.

She stays quiet, as her sobbing stops. Her tears still fall and she gets off my lap, staring at her own lap.

"Was that all I was to you?" She asks and I look at her.

She looks back at me and sighs.

"Am I nothing but a distraction? To make your summer more entertaining? Is that all I am?" She asks and I shake my head.

"You were way more than that and you know it. Don't ask questions you already know the answers to." I tell her for the hundreth time and she lets out a laugh.

I look at her weirdly as she laughs.

"This is how I'll remember you then, Oz. The sarchastic, sweet, caring boy who I gave my first love to." She says, not bothering to look at me.

I stare back at her and notice how she's trying not to cry anymore.

"You made me feel things I've never felt before and I owe you that. I'll pretend none of this happened." She says and frowns.

I didn't want her to forget, I wanted her to remember our story, how we first met, how I first laid eyes on her at church and how I stupidly paused for a whole minute in front of everyone.

But this was how it was supposed to be. I should be greatful that she was willing to forget.

Because I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't forget her.

"I guess this is goodbye now Church Singer." She says, giving me a final kiss on the cheek.

I nod at her, giving her a sad smile.

She reaches into her pocket and hands me something.

"Here I got you this from vacation. Don't mind what I've written. I still want you to have it." She says and gets up, walking to the front door, not bothering to wait for me.

I watch her leave me, as we go separate ways.

There were tons of different ways I could imagine spending my summer and this wasn't what I imagined.

I examine the thing she's gotten me. It's a bracelet, the tribal looking ones you'd mistaken for anklets.

I smile at it, as something is written on the base of it.

Church Singer

I chuckle at the nickname she's given to me for over four months and I feel my heart drop.

Enclosed in a tube was a piece of paper that had something on it.

Thanks for giving me a relationship that I know would last more than one summer. May many more summers with you come, I love you Oz.

I love you too, Katia.