Chapter Twenty Seven: The Truth Shall Set Me Free

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I woke slowly, the light sounds of tinkling notes whispering through my head. I felt groggy and turned to look at the clock. "Three thirty?" I grumbled, my head hitting the pillow. But before I could fall back to sleep I realized I was alone in the bed. I jerked up, tired gaze roaming around to see that Lucifer was indeed gone. The soft sounds of music reverberated back to me and my head looked in the direction from which it came. I climbed out of bed, reaching over to pick up the shirt Lucifer had haphazardly strewn on the floor. I buttoned it up as I walked out of the room, my eyes landing on beautiful sight.

Lucifer was shirtless, sitting at his piano and playing quietly. He was so engrossed in his music that it took him a minute before he saw my approach. Startled briefly, it took him a second to respond as I leaned again the piano. "Im sorry, love, did I wake you?"

"Just your absence did, not your music. You play beautifully," I murmured, sleep still thick in my voice. Lucifer smiled shyly, patting the bench beside him. "I apologize, I couldnt sleep is all," I moved and sat next to him, leaning my head against his bare shoulder. "Will you play me something?" I yawned. He chuckled, kissing the top of my head like so frequently did, "of course." I watched as his hands slowly moved over the ivory, a soft version of a harsher staccato melody wafting through the air. I recognized the song at once, my lips tilting up in a smile.

"I put a spell on you
'Cause you're mine"

I sang along slightly, my voice, nowhere near the seductive pitch of Nina Simone, ringing clearly in the night. Lucifer turned to me, a shocked expression on his face. "You never told me you could sing, love." I shrugged, sheepishly. "Because I cant, not really, I can carry a tune though and Nina Simone is a favorite of mine."

"I know, mine as well." He smiled and continued playing, while I sang along quietly beside him.

"I put a spell on you
Because you're mine
You're mine

I love ya
I love you
I love you
I love you anyhow
And I don't care
If you don't want me
I'm yours right now."

Lucifer continued to play but my voice quieted down, a startling realization dawning on me. The lyrics resonated within me, striking close to home. Too close, I realized. I loved Lucifer and I didnt care if he didnt love me in return, I belonged to him body and soul.

Lucifer, hearing me quiet down, stopped playing. "Love? Whats wrong?" He turned, his body facing mine. I turned to him and he grabbed my hands, his thumb rubbing slow circles on the back. It soothed me and I relaxed a little. I met his gaze, so earnest and wondering and the walls inside of me crumbled. I have to tell him, I thought. This entire time, knowing how I felt about him and keeping it hidden, it was eating me alive inside. I couldnt grasp the idea that this would be okay forever, that hiding how I felt, how I truly felt, was good for me.

I had promised myself once that I wasnt going to let him dictate my life, that I was going to go on with or without him.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or maybe it was the comforting look he gave me. Maybe it was his touch, so soothing and familiar, looking back Im not sure what made me do it. What made me jump off the precipice in which I stood. All I know was that the words, so scary before felt freeing in a way, so when my mouth opened and my voice spoke, I didnt feel like it was bad idea.

"Lucifer," I whispered, eyes locked with his, "I love you."

The face that had charmed me from the moment we met, crumbled. I watched as he jerked back as if I had slapped him, in which case I would assume he would have preferred I did just that. "What!?" He whispered, eyes narrowed and voice cold. He dropped my hands so quickly, the resolve I felt moments ago shattering. I felt cold without his touch and stupidly, I repeated myself. "I-I love you."

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