Book 3: You Don't Want My Love (Slash FanFic)

Ch. 26: Just Friends

"Come on, let's go!"

Steven and I were standing outside of the reptile house at the zoo and, for the first time since I'd discovered this corner of the zoo, I did not want to go in. Steven had tugged the door open, allowing a blast of cool air from the A/C inside to momentarily blow my hair back from my face. I shivered, though it was not from the sudden breeze.

"What if she's not even working today?" I demanded, only asking such a dumb question to try and buy myself some more time.

"Then we come back the next day," Steven stated simply, not letting me get off so easy.

"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?" I pressed, shuffling my feet restlessly.

"Then I'll do all the talking," Steven suggested.

"You can barely even talk right now," I scoffed.

He rolled his eyes. "Then maybe she'll hear my speech impediment and feel bad enough to come and stay with you again. Are we gonna' stand out here all day and go over all of the what-ifs, or are you gonna' finally grow some balls and go in?"

I frowned, crossing my arms over my chest in what Steven probably took as an act of defiance-but that was actually quite far from the truth. In reality, I was really just so fucking nervous that my hands were trembling and I figured it would be easier to hide the tremors if my hands were buried under my biceps. I hadn't been this much of a wreck since back when Steven had first convinced me to start skipping school and I was worried we'd get caught. Or back when Guns played our first really big show with so many thousands of people that the crowd was literally spilling out of the venue and into the street. At least back then I had had some liquid courage in my system to help me through it, but lately I'd been trying to wean myself off of the bottle. I was too sober to be doing this kinda' shit.

I didn't want Al to see me like this-all vulnerable and shaking like a bowl of jelly-but there really was no other way. If I tried to call her and ask for help over the phone, she could easily hang up on me and start screening her calls. If I asked Grant or Steven to call her for me, then I'd look like an even bigger asshole who she would probably assume couldn't be bothered to ask her myself. That, or Al might think that I was avoiding her completely. I mean, I did want to avoid her, but I didn't want to make it that fucking obvious. Besides, she would think that I was avoiding her because I hated her, and that was so far from the fuckin' truth as one could possibly get.

Heaving a sigh of defeat, I trudged forward passed Steven and into the dimly lit corridor of the reptile house. Steven was beaming at me knowingly as I walked by, causing me to roll my eyes and stifle a chuckle.

This asshole.

"I knew you had it in ya'!" Steven cheered before allowing the door to slam shut behind us. He hurried to follow close behind me, a skip in his step the entire time.

I glared at him from the corner of my eye, but he pretended not to notice. His optimism had always managed to be both endearing yet also quite annoying in certain circumstances. Circumstances like this one, where he was able to smile and laugh all while I was quietly dying inside. No wonder Axl and him had hardly ever gotten along.

His positive attitude did eventually grow on me, with each step that we took. It was almost like, the more we journeyed deeper into the building-twisting through the maze of hallways and passing numerous cold blooded creatures-the more a feeling of peace had begun to wash over me. Sure, the anxiety was still in there whispering to me about every way that things could go wrong right now but, somehow, the mere presence of Steven as he sauntered beside me was enough to lessen the weight of all my fears. The carefree swing of his arms, his hushed "oohs" and "aahs" as we passed exhibits, along with his signature smile was enough to eventually lift my spirits.