Ch. 29: I Love You

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"I can't believe this..." I grumbled to myself, savagely ripping into a slice of pizza as Steven dragged Al into the room. I had been trying hard to give Al her space and to keep my distance, but Steven was determined to play matchmaker and had been forcing us to spend as much time together as possible.

While I appreciated the effort, I was mortified at how painfully obvious he was making it by forcing us into ideal dating types of situations. A few days ago he had convinced Al and I that a trip to the park would be beneficial to his health. He'd rattled off with some spiel about "fresh air" and "chirping birds" until we both finally agreed to follow along. Yesterday, his big plan was to convince us that a nice dinner at some upscale restaurant was exactly what he needed "after all of that lame ass hospital food". He even "accidentally" left his wallet back home so I would be forced to pay for everyone's food, including Al's since the restaurant he picked was way out of her price range.

I thought I had gotten lucky today since he hadn't tried to rope us into any sort of quality time. That is, until nighttime rolled around and he decided to spring this intimate movie night idea on me.

"What's all of this?" Al asked with a giggle as she took in the current state of my living room: a couple of pizza boxes piled up on the coffee table, blankets and pillows strewn about on the couch, and me chowing down on a slice of pizza and staring far too intently at the empty, black television screen.

"It's movie night!" Steven cheered excitedly as he ushered her to a spot on the opposite end of the couch from me. "We used to do this all of the time when we were younger. Y'know...on the nights when we couldn't sneak into the clubs."

Al arched an eye brow, a bemused smirk on her face. "Sneaking into clubs...why does that not surprise me?"

"Aw, we just like to have fun, you know? That's just how it's always been," Steven explained as he hurried over to the entertainment center and began to fiddle around with the VCR.

"I can see that." I didn't miss the strange, sad undertones in Al's words. I didn't even have to turn to look at her to know the way she was probably staring at Steven right now, probably looking like a disappointed mother.

Al and I watched Steven in silence for a moment. In that time, I began to wonder if she felt as tensed up and jittery as I did. I was trying to focus on my pizza, but all along my body all of the little hairs began to stand straight up as I sensed the electricity vibrating between us. Did she feel it too? I didn't dare to look.

Don't fuck this up and don't get carried away, I kept reminding myself. Just because we had had a moment the other day while she listened to Steven and I play songs for her didn't mean that she had suddenly dropped all of her inhibitions and fallen in love with me. Quit being so naïve.

I was thankful for when Steven finally managed to get the tape to start playing and he hurried over to jump into the middle spot on the couch, cutting off whatever connection I was feeling between Al and myself.

"What did you pick?" Al asked.

"Ghost," Steven replied, reaching forward to snag his own slice of pizza.

"Ghost?" I crinkled my nose in disgust. "I wanted to watch Child's Play."

"Not everyone always wants to watch horror movies you know," Steven shot back, rolling his eyes at me. "I really don't feel like watching Child's Play or The Exorcist for the millionth time because you don't ever feel like watching anything else. Besides, I figured Al might want to watch more of a chick-flick."

I snorted. "Really? Her? That girl is-"

I was going to say something along the lines of "that girl isn't like that. She's not feminine at all." Luckily, I caught myself before I said something stupid to hurt Al's feelings again. It's not like I necessarily meant it in a bad way. I had come to like that she was a bit rough around the edges and had no problem with getting her hands dirty, but I was more aware now of how harsh my wording could be and how much it might upset her if I didn't convey my feelings properly. I'd hurt her enough in the past, and I had already decided a long time ago that I was going to try to turn over a new leaf with her.

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