Book 3: You Don't Want My Love (Slash FanFic)

Ch. 34: Estranged

I stood at the doorstep of Axl Rose's mansion where a lush and pristine lawn sprawled out behind me, perfectly lined stripes of green had pointed me towards the front door and the shrubs that guarded it on each side. I half-hoped that I would hear the soft notes of a piano coming from inside of the house, or any sign at all that Axl was alive and okay in there. On the other hand, I also hoped that I wouldn't hear anything since I still wasn't confident in approaching him again. I wasn't entirely ready to confront Axl just yet, and a part of me silently prayed that he would be out of town or something.

I waited a few minutes in silence with my ears perked and ready to pick up any sounds from inside the house. In those moments, I only heard the distant sounds of dogs barking and sprinklers sputtering to life on nearby lawns. But from inside the house? Silence. No one was home. For some reason, the thought actually worried me rather than
comforted me.

I wanted to believe that the silence meant that Axl wasn't home, but in reality I knew that it was much more likely to mean that he was holed up in a room all by himself, shrouded in shadows and brooding. Once again, my heart ached for him. Axl was an asshole at his worst, but a true friend at his best. He'd done a lot of horrible things for sure, but it was always impossible to stay mad at him, especially once I'd learned about his past and the wringer he'd been put through growing up. It didn't excuse his faults and it didn't mean that we had to always forgive him, but I knew that he had the potential to be better and to redeem himself. Like the rest of us, he had his own demons to exorcise. I believed that if anyone could change out of all of us, it was Axl. He had the passion for it, the trick was that I had to make him believe that it was something he needed to do.

I reached out and banged the heavy, metal knocker against the thick wood of the door. It was probably only a few seconds, but it felt like longer before one of Axl's many housekeepers greeted me with a shocked expression on her face.

"Hellooo, is Axl here?" I felt like an insecure kid again, visiting a friend's house so see if they could come out and play. Is Stevie home? Can he come out and ride bikes? "May I speak with him, please?"

"You're not supposed to be here..." I don't think she was trying to sound rude, but I could tell by her tone she was wary. She probably feared that the sight of me might send Axl into another one of his infamous tantrums. The hesitation in her voice made me second guess myself even more. I didn't want her to lose her job because of me, but I also didn't want to give up when I hadn't even had a chance to say my piece. I'd left Duff to come here, and it would feel like a waste if I came all this way and didn't even get a glimpse of strawberry blond hair.

"I know I'm the last person Axl wants to see right now, but if I could just have a minute-"

"No. You go now!" she insisted in her broken English.

"Wait!" The door began to close and she shrank away from me. "You don't understand how important this is-"

"What's so important about it?" A deep voice came from somewhere in the shadows just over the woman's shoulder, seemingly causing time itself to freeze. The lady stopped closing the door halfway and I stopped whining just long enough for Axl to poke his head around the corner and stare at me, his expression devoid of emotion and his eyes as empty as I suddenly felt.

"Uh...well..." I struggled to find the words that I had been so ready to say only a few moments ago. I was quickly realizing that it was a lot easier to confront the stranger at the door than it was now to confront the stranger who was once my closest friend. I had so many things that I wanted to say, and I felt like I had so little time to say them all. We had left each other on such bad terms the last time we spoke, I doubted Axl had much patience left for me and the other members that he'd left behind. I was still fully expecting the door to be slammed in my face.