We Belong

Chapter 16

I was ok the first week.  I went to the studio, I went to the gym, I went out with Aiden and Mark and Lee.  I had my shit together.  The songs I was coming out with were decent enough for me to contemplate putting them on an album.  I actually thought I might have sailed through losing Molly with minimal blow back.

But the second week...

I felt the full brunt of her being gone.  It hit me like a lightning bolt.  Maybe because I'd finally lost the hope that she might come back.  I wanted to believe she loved me as much as I loved her.  I knew she did, I'd seen it.  But I'd been wrong about so much, maybe I was wrong about that too.  I didn't want to accept it.  Which was probably why I stayed stuck in the riptide of unresolved feelings between us. 

I stood in my kitchen wearing a t-shirt that I hadn't taken off in three days and sporting a weeks worth of growth on my face and I stared at the coffee maker like it held the meaning of life inside of it.  I was lost.  I was angry.  I had run the gamut of every human emotion and I still hadn't made sense of anything.

I sat down at the table with my coffee, sighing when I saw my backpack hit the ground after I'd brushed against it.  Even the thought of leaning over to pick it up was daunting.  I stopped when my eyes fell on Aiden's manilla envelope.  The one full of every personal detail he hadn't been able to find about Molly.

My discussion with Mark replayed in my head, forcing me to lean down and grab the folder.  I pushed my coffee to the side.

It took me an hour to get through everything.  Aiden had done his due diligence, I had to hand it to him.  He'd searched everything for Molly Amelia Campbell from America and he'd found nothing.  He was right, she didn't exist.

Molly was a memory.  One I would have to decide to either let go of or seek out some answers for myself. 

Again, the conversation with Mark played over in my head.  He'd seen her. 

I sat there, trying to talk myself out of going down to the college.  I realized I'd lost the argument when I was dressed, shaved and had grabbed my keys.

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The corner where the school was located was just as busy as it had been the first time I'd been there.  I expected no less for Wednesday afternoon.  I studied every face I passed as if I would be tested on it later.  I just hoped no one saw me studying them so intently and said anything about it online.  The last thing I needed was some drama about me creeping people out.

After half an hour of searching, I'd found nothing.  The church was as quiet as it had been the first time I'd been here.  The college just as busy.  Yet I saw nothing of familiarity in any of it. 

I sighed.  This was futile.  Molly was gone and I needed to accept it.  The one time in her life she'd been honest with me turned out to be the day she left me.  Amazing.

I shoved my hands in my pockets as I turned to make my way back to my car.  My eyes were just about to divert downward when I stopped.  As if the universe had heard me, there she was.  Across the street.  Less than 20 steps away from me.  Walking right in front of the church.  She was walking, flanked by two other girls and one behind them.  She didn't look happy or sad, just...kind of determined.  She stopped when she dropped her bag and it took everything in me not to yell out her name.

I was just about to open my mouth to do just that when I heard one of her friends.

"LAUREN!"  She called out, a slight giggle in her voice.

To my surprise, Molly answered her,

"Sorry!"  She called back, "I dropped my bag...Coming."  I watched as she jogged back to her friends.  She reached her hand out to grab onto the hand of the girl who'd just called her Lauren.  They disappeared into the church. Just as quickly as she'd appeared, she was gone.  She'd slipped through my fingers yet again.