We Belong

Chapter 23

I was lost.  I supposed I could've sugar coated it but since I felt like one huge, gaping emotional wound I figured why bother?  The night I got home after leaving Molly at her apartment I didn't sleep a wink.  I tossed and I turned and I picked up my phone every five minutes on the off chance she might have called and my phone didn't register it.  I was so anxious.  All I could think about was her safety.

I had deliberately booked up my day with a visit to the studio, the gym and two or three meetings but now that the sun had popped up over the horizon, I'd been reminded of how quiet my house was.

Molly was gone.  And she needed to be gone.  Aiden had warned me not to be her savior and I'd definitely crossed that line a few times.  No matter how alone I felt without her there, I needed to allow this to happen. 

Conner, my trainer, looked up from his usual spot on a weight bench as I approached him from the locker room.  He immediately laughed,

"Damn, Mate.  I realize workouts suck but not that bad."

"What?"  I asked, my eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"You look like someone shot your dog."

The mention of the word "dog" immediately sent me to Henry which in turn made me think of Molly.  I frowned,

"Can we just get this over with?  I have meetings."

Conner held his hands up in defense,

"Whoa...ok."

Thankfully Conner had a way of knowing what I needed.  I left that session with arms that felt like cement blocks and legs so spent I was glad it was going to take me an hour to get home so I could at least recover in the car.

Where silence used to be something I found far too little of, I was terrified of it now.  Silence meant I was alone with my thoughts and this was not a good thing.  Because 99.9% of the time my thoughts drifted back to Molly.  Every room in my house, every piece of furniture, every bush outside, they all held some memory of her.  And I couldn't get her out of my head.

I took a quick shower, grabbed my backpack and headed out the door.  Time for me to sit in some boring meetings and get pressured for new music.  I had more than enough to build an album, I just wasn't sure that's where I needed to be at the moment. 

What if Molly needed me?

By the time I made it into the conference room, a few of the producers I'd worked with were already in there.  I took my seat and I waited, ironically, in silence while they all talked to each other. 

15 minutes later there was almost an all out brawl between people who insisted I give them what I had and others who wanted to defend my artistic freedom. 

I was tired of the yelling. 

I lifted my hands into the air as my head tipped back,

"Oh my God ENOUGH!"  I yelled.

Everyone stopped, their eyes wide as they looked over at me.  I stood up out of my chair, my head shaking in disgust,

"I'm the one who has t'answer for these songs so I say when you get them.  And 'not yet' is the only answer I'm givin' at the moment.  I have some that are ready and some that aren't."

"When can we get those?"  I heard someone ask.  I was far too pissed off to figure out who.

I wanted to see Molly.  I was tired of pretending like I didn't.  I looked down at my watch and then back up at the table,

"I will let you all know in a few days.  Alright?"

I honestly didn't know if it was alright or if no one in the room was ready to challenge me.  Guess I'd done a good enough job of convincing them I wasn't in the mood for any shit.