Philophobia||hs

Dear Diary

Bella's Pov

Dear diary,

It hurts the worst when the person that made you feel so special five days ago can make you feel so unwanted today.

Five days have passed since we got off the airplane and didn't even say a word to each other. Yes, I'll admit he was a total dick and I shouldn't be sorry he left but it's not that easy to let go when you love someone.

I love him. I love him with all my heart. I love him with all his flaws and there is a part of me that keeps on holding on to the hope he loves me.

I can't help but think he's doing these stuff for reason. He was in pain, I could tell. I just wish he could've told me the reason behind his broken heart.

No matter what happens I'm never gonna give up on him and I'm always gonna have hope. Because hope is the only thing that's keeping me going.

But nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you and you mean nothing to him.

Harry's Pov

Dear diary,

Five days.

five days since the hardest act of my life. Yes, I'll admit I was a total dick. but it wasn't because I wanted to be one it was because I had to be one.

I love Bella with all my heart. And act as if I feel the opposite way, didn't on the break her but also me.

Only thing I can do now is pray she moves on and let's me go as much as I don't want her to.

And I hope one day she finds herself someone that can love her with all his heart just like I did because that's what she deserves and that's what I can't give her.

Bella's Pov

Dear diary,

Ten days since I haven't heard his beautiful, calming voice.

They say time makes a better. Trust me they lie. Time only makes it more clear and hurtful.

I wish I could hurt him the way he hurt me to show him what he made me feel. But I know that if I had the chance I wouldn't do it.

I've lost count of the times I cried myself to sleep. It's pathetic how I keep on crying over a guy who doesn't give a fuck about me. But I can't help it.

Harry's Pov

Dear diary,

No, time does not heal all scars, I've learned that. The passing time only makes me realize how bad I fucked up.

Yes, if I haven't done this it would and even worse but Bella out of everyone deserves an explanation.

A broken heart is the worst it's like having broken ribs. Nobody can see it, but hurts every time you breathe.

Bella's Pov

Dear diary,

it's amazing how someone can break your heart and you can still love them with all the little pieces.

As days pass by so does him, he will leave soon for his second album and me? Oh I'll just keep holding onto the hope to meet him again one day.

My friend once said,

He's going to be sorry lost you, so stop worrying. Forget the past. Forget the pain and remember what an incredible woman you are.

That is what I'm gonna try to do now. Until he comes back.

Harry's Pov

My phone rings interrupting my thoughts.

Simon. Fuck.

S-What the fuck Harry?
H-I'm leaving tomorrow Simon, no need to keep on with the relationship.
S-You can lie to yourself all you want hurry but we both know the reason behind your breakup. remember I know Des' secret.
H-Then Simon you should understand why I'm doing this.
S-No Harry, this is not right. You are not leaving until you fix this mess. You are goin back to her, apologize hang out with her a couple of days and than when I see everything's fine you guys can 'break up.' and I know if it was something really big you would've already left. So there's a reason that you're still here and that is because you need someone to push you to talk to her and that's what I'm doing. Harry you are going to talk to her

If only he knew that our fake relationship wasn't so fake anymore.

He was partly true I did stay here because I needed someone to push me to talk to her and this was my time.

H-You're right. I have to talk to her.

***

Bella's Pov

My phone rings interrupting my writing.

Harry.

I hear my heartbeat in my ears. I put my guard up not to have a breakdown on the phone. I take a deep breath before answering the call.

"Hello?" I try hard to control my weak voice. I hear him sigh in relief. "Hello, Bella."

That is the only thing needed for me to put my guard down. That voice makes me loose my senses.

I wait for him to say something. "I.. I.. um.. I was hoping we could meet up for a coffee and talk if you're free."

He wants to talk to me over coffee? After everything I deserve an explanation.

"Um, yes sure. I'll text you the time and the address."

"Thank you." I end the call confused.

What the fuck is going on?

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heyy i did a diary format did you guys like it?

a little spoiler for you all, you're gonna learn des' secret soon. and the second lil spoiler, you can be a little confused in chapter 18 but it will make sense in chapter 19.

all the love,
el.