Mateless. (katsudeku♡)

Chapter 15

Who Is It, Kacchan?

*

Izuku Midoriya's POV

I loved him with all my heart. There wasn't a minute where my mind wouldn't flash to him for a second or two. His silhouette is imprinted in the back of my eyelids every time that I blinked. I never wished for it to be like this. I would never wish anyone's life to be like this. I've tried to forget so many times, I've tried moving on, tried loving other people. Doesn't anyone understand? There's no more water left to take from an empty ocean. I've given my waves, my water, my grains of sand, and any source of life to someone that hardly notices. I can't even understand it myself. But what I do understand is that I still love him, unconditionally and forever. That's just how it worked, it's just how I had to live.

He looked at me with nothing but hatred in his eyes as he turned away to get up from the swing. I never wanted him to go away, what was happening between us made my heart shatter over and over again. As he got up, I grabbed onto his wrist.

Please, don't let go. Give me something I can hold onto so I can love you a little longer.

He pulled away but again, I caught him, but this time I caught him by the hand. I felt myself blush a dark shade of red, knowing that I had his hand enveloped in mine. Then I saw it. A flicker of the real Kacchan. It was all I needed to be okay again. His eyes softened into mine. It used to be like this, but I never knew what happened to him. It was just like randomly one day, he just stopped caring for me. I felt his hand grip mine a little tighter and my heart began to put itself back together again. Before I knew it, I was starting to cry all over again but with happiness laced within each drop instead. I couldn't help but smile.

Was he giving me a chance?

Then he pulled away, with anger radiating off of him. A chance? For me? How funny. I had no other choice but to step back from him. I've given myself too much false hope that he would come to me one day. If he keeps pushing and pushing away, it's time to finally walk into the direction he was guiding me. It was time to let go.

He never wanted me and will never want me.

I watched Kacchan's back as he walked away from me. I waited one, two, ten minutes after he walked away from my point of view, then I started walking in the same direction. My lips curled into a smile. He would be happier now and that's all that mattered, right?

Usually I would head to visit my mom every Wednesday, but today I decided just to head back to my dorm. The time that flashed on my phone was 3:56 a.m. my mom would be asleep by now. I looked down at the floor this time, not wanting to remember any bit or piece of this place. I trusted that my muscle memory would lead me to the right place. When I finally looked up, I could see U.A. not so far ahead. I activated One for All and dashed into the building. My hands fumbled with the keys but I still managed to unlock my door. With my luck, Kacchan's dorm was right next to mine. Most night I had to be quiet, or else Kacchan would come in and hurt me. I changed from my school uniform and into an oversized t-shirt. On my desk, there was the horrid black collar. I stopped wearing it after New Year's because it hid my scent. I wanted to attract my mate more than anything, whoever it was. My eyes began to feel heavy and I tucked myself into bed. I found myself falling asleep, escaping reality for a couple of hours.

BEEP! BEEP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! I AM HERE! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! BEEP! BEEP!

I groaned as I woke up. It was 6:15 a.m. and school started at 7. I scrambled out of bed, grabbed clean boxers and my uniform, and went to the bathroom. With my All Might toothbrush in my hand, I started to brush away the nasty germs that I forgot to brush away last night. I quickly hopped into the shower after I finished and began to think about last night. Bakugou seemed pretty upset when I mentioned that he didn't have his mark like I didn't. If he had found his mate already, why didn't they mark already? I wonder who it was as well, obviously not someone from our class. It's only me and him that don't have marks, and Kami forbid that it would be me. I snapped out of my daze and hopped out of the shower. I threw my uniform on my body after drying off. My hair was still dripping and I used a nice towel to get it nice and fluffy. After maybe 10-15 minutes, I felt presentable enough to start to go to school. I glanced at my clock once more when putting on my shoes and grabbing my backpack.