Mateless. (katsudeku♡)

Chapter 27

If You Let Me Hold You,

Maybe then, I Can Have The World.

*

(warning! mentions of anxiety and panic attacks)

Katsuki Bakugou's POV

You were the Sun, Planets, Moons, and all the stars.

I may have only been debris,

but I could never be happier just existing alongside you.

Because in the end, 

we will both end up turning into nothing.

Maybe then,

we can finally be one.

Everyone is so fucking happy. 

I hate that. I know I've said that just short of a million times and that's so selfish of me, but what else am I supposed to do?

Deku is back and I should be happy for him, he finally found someone that will hold him in their arms without any problem, without any hesitation. It's obviously something I couldn't do for him. I realized how much I wanted him when it was too late and now I have to deal the consequences. That's my fault. If I could go back and change everything, trust me, I would. But that's the thing about this world, you can't. 

The worst part of it all is the fact that I can feel our bond growing weaker and weaker every single second. I should have realized it was happening all along. At first I thought I was just going crazy, the slight pulling at my heart that left me gasping for air was just my imagination. The way I couldn't feel his emotions as strongly as I used to was just a result of being so far from him for so long. Or even how slightly and steadily his scent was changing, becoming less inviting and somewhere along the way, fading away. After the process of separation is completely over, I would officially become mateless. It was the last thing I ever thought would happen to me, but I know deep down someone like me deserved this. Maybe I was probably being stupid. No scratch that, I was just being stupid, holding onto something that wasn't even there in the first place.

And even we sat there in that shitty class, just hearing him talk about America, made my stomach churn. It was always America this, America that, training this, training that. I was suffocating and everyone was strangely okay with it. After all, I was just a replacement until he came back. They never needed me, I was just there to take up space.

"So I have been wondering, how did you even communicate with whoever gave you that mark? We all clearly speak fluent Japanese with little to no understanding of English other than the limited and basic material we learn from Present Mic, and I bet it's the reverse with your person," Uraraka questioned, totally neglecting the fact that I was there, "Plus you haven't even told us anything about them! Spill everything!"

Deku automatically flushed and placed his hand over his neck out of habit. The class found it adorable somehow. I found it adorable somehow. 

"Well, they are half Japanese and half of some other Caucasian descent. Although the Japanese they spoke was broken, we managed just fine. I even picked up some English along the way! And for telling you guys about my 'person', they were... really nice to me," I winced and bit my lip, the way he talked about his new found mate was so, familiar.