Slayed || Sequel to Homicidal

XVII

C H A P T E R    S E V E N T E E N:

“SATs are today!” Zinnia cheers, pounding on Louis' door as hard as she can.

He pulls a shirt over his head, plain black despite the weather, and shouts back, “I know. I think I'm going to fail.”

“You will not,” Zinnia disagrees. “I'm going down for breakfast. Be ready in five, orders from your mum.”

Louis nods to himself and goes on a search for a pair of drawstring shorts. Life goes on. He could fail final SATs, and though they have nothing to do with college, life will go on. He's barely breathing, but he's living, and Zinnia's making it a little easier for him to shoulder some of the weight.

Unlike every morning before this last week and a bit, Louis is not in the mood to slide down the banister. Some could say it's because he doesn't want to be chewed out by his mum, but he knows it's because he's feeling too low for any sort of fun.

Johanna gives him a hug and tells him she loves him, but Louis is too tired and not in the mood to say it back. Of course, this just makes his mum hug him tighter and even go the extra mile to kiss his forehead and both of his cheeks. He appreachiates it, but he still wishes he could trade Johanna's kisses in for Harry's. Then he'll be okay.

“Here,” Zinnia passes Louis a chocolate protein shake, and he starts to hurt all over again. This is the kind Harry would have the morning after a sleepover. Louis knows Zinnia didn't mean anything by it, just that this is the only kind left in the cabinet and he has to eat something, but he can't stop the ache spreading across his chest.

“Thanks,” Louis mutters, but he doesn't take it. Instead, he stares at the cap and hopes Zinnia will put it away. She doesn't.

She rips the tape off the cap, unscrews it, and hands it to him. “You need to put something in yourn stomache,” she chastises.

Louis frowns, but takes a sip to shut her up. Zinnia smiles proudly and Johanna stares for a few moments before she goes upstairs to get ready for work. Louis pouts as he downs the shake.

He doesn't mean to be all sad and distant, but he isn't sure what else he's supposed to do. Louis fell into a routine with Harry over the coarse of six months, and now he really doesn't know what to do with himself.

When he looks at Zinnia, Louis sees a beautiful girl who looks tired from dealing with so much stress. But, Louis knows she can hold her own. He just wishes he could say the same thing about himself.

“You're sad,” he notes.

Zinnia chuckles darkly. “No kidding.”

It dawns on Louis all at once that's he's been a bad friend these past eleven days, and even long before he and Harry broke up. He hasn't been there for her. He's turned into the kind of shitty friend he swore he'd never be.

“I'm sorry,” Louis says.

Zinnia looks up. “What for?”

“It's been all about me lately,” he elaborates. “I feel bad, because you're hurting, too, and I haven't been there for you.”