Just Wait » Boyf Riends

I Am Slightly Less Traumatized Than Before

I tried sleeping it off, but as soon as I woke up, my very first thought was: 'I need to go visit Jeremy today.'

When I went to school, the entire bus drive the only thought I had was: 'Jeremy's probably pissed as fuck at me right now.'

And all day during classes: 'What if he's already dead?'

  And here I was, once again, standing face-to-face with The Heere household, and those exact three thoughts were still swarming my head.

  I keep reaching out for the doorknob and then I hesitate. Why the fuck do I keep hesitating? I barely hesitated the first time I came here, and that was one hell of a ballsy move I pulled, yet now I can't even fathom opening the door.

  I bare my teeth, hoping that Mr. Heere isn't home, and push open the door, ignoring my thoughts screaming at me.

  I scan the room instantly and my shoulders slouch. The house looks weirdly empty. No empty beer cans, no clothes littered on the couch, none of the lights were on...

  I don't know whether or not I was relieved or upset that no one was home, but I went upstairs anyway. I bite my lip nervously, before knocking on the door with the stupid flower sticker.

  I didn't hear a response at first, so I breathed a sigh of relief, until: "You can come in, Avi!"

  I'm sorry, what? Who the fuck is Avi? Does Jeremy have a partner I'm not aware of?

  I ignore my thoughts and open the door. Jeremy's busy looking at his phone, so he isn't really meeting my eye. I clear my throat slightly.

  "Hey Av—Michael?" He doesn't look as shocked as yesterday, but just confused, "Uh... hi..."

  "Uhm..." I cough awkwardly, "Hey, uh, I'm here to apologize for that shit I said yesterday..."

  Jeremy opened his mouth to reply, closed it, shook his head and sighed, "Come in."

  I sat down on the edge of his bed looking down at my lap guiltily, "Okay, so I might said some stupid shit yesterday... because, uh, I dunno, that question was just kinda something I've always been, uhm, iffy about... I guess... so I, uh, freaked out and uhm..." I sucked the air through my teeth, "Point is, I-I don't hate you, I think you're great, that freak out I had was 100% not your fault... so, uh... hope you aren't, uh, angry at me or anything..."

  Jeremy's eyes softened, and he furrowed his brows in concern, a soft smile on his face, "Mikey, I-I was never angry with you."

  "You weren't?"

  "Y-yeah, I know, it's a..." Jeremy averted his eyes, "A touchy subject... I-I should've known, and I'm sorry."

  We sat in silence for a moment. It was kinda awkward, but it was calm, and somehow not as bad as usual awkward silences were.

  "So, uh... who's Avi?"

  Jeremy looked at me, "Y-You're kidding, right?"

  "I mean, if you had a datemate you could've just told me—"

  And suddenly Jeremy burst out giggling. My heart stopped for a moment. Fuck, I forgot what he sounded like when he had laughing fits. I'm glad the sound was back, but I was still confused as to exactly why he was laughing.

  Jeremy covered his mouth, "Oh—Oh my... Oh my god, you ac-actually—" he started laughing again.

  "Oh no, was I a dumbass again?" I said in a completely serious tone.