Just Wait » Boyf Riends

Yikes

Jeremy dramatically fell back against the couch with a sharp thump as he got banned from Club Penguin on his fourth e-mail account, "Those were the only four e-mail accounts I have! What am I supposed to do now?"

"You can use mine if you want."

Jeremy laughed softly and it made my heart flutter, "I appreciate the offer, but I'd hate to get you banned from Club Penguin."

"Well, if Club Penguin's out of the window, and you're bored of Megaman, and I refuse to play any kind of Sonic game, what else do you wanna do?"

"Hmmm..." Jeremy leans into the couch and presses closer into my side, tilting his head to snuggle into the crook of my neck, which totally didn't want to make me spontaneously combust, "Sleep?"

"Uh... I... I hate to bring this up, but I thought you were going to expand on that whole you want to be cremated thing?"

Jeremy noticeably tenses. He rips his head away from me and scans my face for a second, "Tomorrow. I said tomorrow."

"Okay, that's cool," I promise, making an effort to sound as calm as possible. The last thing I want to do right now is make Jeremy upset. After losing him for what seemed like ages and then being reunited only for me to realize my stupid romantic feelings, even making him mildly sad would make me lose my fucking mind.

"So, sleep?"

I smiled instinctively, "Yeah, let's go, bud."

My heart was admittedly still recovering from the sudden realization of how astonishingly gorgeous Jeremy is, and how amazingly adorable his personality is, and how he makes my voice go an octave higher. My brain was still slowly trying to process all of that.

As you can imagine, having those new founded feelings, and then having to sleep in the same bed as said person you recently found out you had feelings for, all while said person is extraordinarily cuddly, it all becomes an issue.

I thought that maybe somehow I'd get out of it by sleeping on the complete opposite side of the bed, but somehow Jeremy still managed to roll over and get his legs tangled up in mine.

And in all honesty: I don't mind.

I wrap my arms around his waist, because fuck it. What harm does it bring?

And that's the way we stayed the entire night.

But we couldn't stay like that forever.

Because at some point Jeremy had to explain.

Somehow, somewhere, Jeremy and Chloe had a conversation where Jeremy said that when he died, he wanted to be cremated. Which fucked me up, considering Jeremy very specifically told me that he was not going to die.

Chloe then promptly informed me that Jeremy didn't tell me about his worries of dying, because he didn't want me to stress about it.

And that's what our current conversation was supposed to be about, but instead it was just a mutual silence between the both of us.

  We'd woken up and eaten breakfast in a painful silence, that clearly bothered both of us, but neither of us made any effort to change it.

After a few minutes of soft mumbling and sniffing from my cold, Jeremy spoke up.

"So... uh... you wanted to... I... Yeah. Chloe was... she was right. I want to get cremated."

"And why did you tell her that?"

"So that if I die, she'll know," Jeremy says, with absolutely no waver in his voice, "I... I'm sorry. I hate talking about death around you because I don't want you to worry about me."