"You know what to do deceit, shut him up"
~~~
Virgil's POV
Days after New Years and yet here I am, still in my room. The memories of yesteryear playing on repeat for the sadistic masses. And I'm not kidding, most of Thomas' anxieties recently have been about romantic gestures gone wrong. Luckily for me, this isn't out of the ordinary apparently, so Princey hasn't been too concerned. However, this time Patton and Logan have been coming to check up on me.
Patton would come to my room with food and water, sitting outside quietly with a colouring book until I come out to take the meal. Or Logan would come along each day with a random book that he'd leave outside my door. Always something about space or the ocean. It's weird, a few months I would've put this down to pity but now at least I know they care. That's the only reason I come down for breakfast today, or that's what I tell myself. In reality, I've missed Roman. We were getting along quite well before new years and I just hope I haven't messed everything up now.
"Virgil! Are you joining us for breakfast?" Patton smiled.
"Is that okay?" Even now a part of me doubts there's a seat for me.
"Of course, you're welcome any time" He gestures towards a seat,
"Why don't you sit next to Roman?" He smiles.
I look towards Roman, trying to gauge if he's okay with it. He gives a shy smile before digging back into his pancakes.
Once we've all settled into our pancakes and conversation has resumed Patton gestures towards me with his fork,
"How was your new years Virgil?" He asked, a smile plastered on his face
"Um..." I looked towards ROman who was seemingly very interested in his pancakes.
"It was good, I had a nice night" I mumbled, biting into my pancakes in hopes of ending this conversation.
"We haven't seen you much since then, everything okay?" Roman mumbled, still looking at his pancakes.
"Yeah... I've just been a bit tired and groggy recently" I answered.
This time I'm not lying. I may not have mentioned that some of my time was spent fretting over new years but I've been feeling weirdly heavy recently. However, it should be noted that the heaviness has nothing to do with Dyllon rolling onto me a lot at night.
"Any interesting plans today?" Logan asked
"Not really, just planning on hanging about here I guess"
"How about you Roman?" He continued
"Nothing much either" He shrugged
Patton looked at us for a moment before chirping in,
"Well, Logan and I are going out for the day."
"We ar-?" Logan made an uncomfortable face
"We are" He smiled
"Yep, having a date day. We'll be leaving soon so we better be off" He jumped up from the table dragging Logan behind him.
"What was that about?" I mumbled.
"I wish I knew" Roman chuckled.
"So who's doing the dishes?"
~~~
I may or may not have beaten princey in an arm wrestle but I am sworn to secrecy. Roman is currently washing while I'm drying and we've got a good system going.
"Done!" He shouts as he places the final plate by me to dry. However, before I can get to it bubbles come flying at me.
"Did you just blow bubbles in my face?" I asked dumbfounded.
"Maybe" He smirked.
"You are so dead" While threatening I can't help but laugh as he runs away.
A very manly chase ensues, both of us laughing along the corridors of the mind palace until I catch him at a dead end.
He notices this of course and goes to turn when I charge right into him, knocking us both onto the floor.
My mind goes blank for a second, funny that, Anxiety is silenced by creativity. The two noisiest traits. Silent.
This is the part where I'm supposed to panic, I know that. I'm supposed to be running away and self-doubting but I don't really want to?
I roll off him with a chuckle,
"I win"
He smiles.
We sit a few moments, smiling. Not really at each other or at anything. Just smiling.
I struggle to remember the last time I've felt like this. Where everything has felt quiet, calm, still and I'm okay with it.
Again, probably should be panicking about my lack of anxiety but I just can't find the thought that cares.
I lie back, close my eyes and let this new feeling wash over me.
Though I begin to notice something new. My mind no longer feeling refreshed and calm. It feels like I'm underwater. I'm not drowning, I'm not breathing, I'm not there. I can't remember where I am or where I lay down or where Roman is or Patton or Logan or Dyllon or.
But I don't care, what's there to care about? Thinking is always causing me trouble, always pulling me down, always being used against me. So why care if it's not there?
As I'm pulled further into my empty brain I begin to feel tired. I can't feel my legs or my arms or the thudding sound they're producing against the floor but again, who cares?
Who cares?
(I'm sorry this is terrible)
YOU ARE READING
Shattered Glass (Prinxiety)
Fanfiction"I do help! They just don't realise how much it hurts..." Anxiety doesn't want to be the bad guy. He helps, he really does. People just don't see it... Yet. TW: Swearing, panic attacks
