Gold is good -11-

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Chapter onze -Gold is good-

Why was he so cute?

It didn't matter that Naomi's fingers were intertwined with mine, or I had pecked Peter's cheek as he walked by, I didn't care for Peter or Naomi. I wanted him. I had wondered several times if this was even working, it didn't seem like it was doing anything exept pushing him further into the closet. He wasn't shooting Peter dirty looks when he walked by, he wasn't giving me looks of longing. I knew what he said about not coming out of the closet and not being able to have a relationship with me, but I also knew what he said about not being able to stay away from me. I knew that he liked me, if he didn't he wouldn't have kissed me three times. It wasn't a drunken mistake or a lapse in judgment anymore.

Cameron liked boys.

Or at least he liked me. I wished he would come to terms with it, but it didn't seem like it would be happening anytime soon. Not from the spacey look on his face.

"...So are they going to talk or...?" Avia said to no one in particular as she looked between Dannie and Luke. Instead of sitting next to each other like they normally did, they sat on either side of Cameron who was zoned out. Shyla shrugged in response and Diontrey just chuckled.

"I don't know," I said to Avia. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Cameron's head facing my direction. "I think they had a fight or something."

"Neither of them will talk to the other, from what I understand Luke did something stupid." Cameron said quietly. He sounded tired. I looked over at him and saw that tired may not have been a strong enough word for what he was. He was slouched over in his seat, his clothes were rumpled and he had dark bags under his eyes. Once he saw me looking at him, he immediately looked down.

Once lunch was over and the others had dispersed to their respective classes, it was just Cameron and I walking to our next class. I couldn't resist, I strode forward and gently tapped his shoulder. He immediately spun around and his eyes widened. "What?"

"Are you okay?" My hand reach out to touch his shoulder on instinct and he flinched. My hand stopped travelling towards him immediately and fell awkwardly to my side. "Sorry." I muttered.

He stared at me for a minute, his light green eyes wide. He looked like a small animal trapped in a hunter's clutches. I didn't like that, I didn't like that I was making him feel that way. "Look," He said softly, not even looking me in the eye. "I think it might be better if we stopped talking..." My heart dropped into my stomach. Was he serious? I had known him for a short period of time, but.... it felt like I'd known him for longer than that.

"Do...do you really mean that?"

He licked his chapped lips, and I could see the hesitation in his eyes. "Y-yeah. I do." His eyes flickered between me and the floor. The bell rung. We were late. Not that it mattered. "I think we'd better go."

I nodded and lagged behind a little, because I knew he didn't want to be near me right now. But before we turned to the classroom, I stopped him. "Look, I'm sorry. I understand that you don't want to talk me anymore, and I'll respect that." I turned the doorknob to the class room and we found our seats. All that had been needed to be said was said. This was it apparently. And I needed to come to terms with it.

But I couldn't.

Stop it, Sebastian. My rational voice scolded. But I couldn't stop. I knew it was probably best that we didn't talk though. He wasn't going to come out the closet for me, even though I'd to it for him. I understood why he couldn't though. His mom and her boyfriend were homophobic, so it was understandable, though I still wasn't acquainted with the idea of his mother being homophobic. She had seemed so nice when I met her. But come to think of it, when I had been sitting with her and Cameron at their table, he seemed subdued. Much quieter than he was around me.

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