Be Rude but Love Me | ✔

CHAPTER 28

After my jogging session the next morning and a healthy breakfast, I am too restless to stay home. Lucy had woken up during the night, agitated and I'd had to hold her for hours, soothing her with words and memories before she finally calmed down around 6am. I know that she won't be up until late afternoon. She sleeps a lot in normally, so with what happened yesterday, she'll be kaput until late afternoon. She had been sleeping when I left. Ellie said she would stay with her.

I trek for one hour before I finally reach the water. I'm not sure how I knew that I wanted to come there, I wasn't even thinking of the lake but my legs led me there and probably my subconscious too. I strip off my clothes immediately and dive into the water in my underwear and bra. The coolness soothes my muscles and I stay afloat, head facing the sky. The clouds are slowly, slowly moving around as I let the water carry me.

"I wouldn't go there if I were you." I snap my eyes open and find Yann on the shore, staring at me. "Especially if you're not a good swimmer."

I tread water as I stare at him, wondering why he's here. I decide to listen to him and crawl my way back close to the shore but far enough so he doesn't see me half-naked.

The water is softly sloshing against my neck as I move around. I wish he could leave so I'd be able to dry myself. But instead, he takes a seat on the soil and, as he did last time we were here, takes fistful of it and throws it in the water.

He doesn't talk and keeps busying himself with his distracted game. He doesn't look where he's throwing anymore. He has this forlorn look on his face, wrinkling his forehead. That forlorn look of the travelers wandering with no baggage, no destination. Just their soul and the crumbling remnants of their lives. Yann, in this instant, reminds me of those characters in western movies.

I softly approach myself to the shore, careful to stay hidden. Closer, his expression is even more heart-wrenching. I'm about to open my mouth when he notices me. With a frown on his face, he abruptly shoots up to his feet and without any preamble, he walks away.

I sigh and wait for him to be out of sight before I swim out of the river. To get myself to dry faster, I run along the border for fifteen minutes, and for fifteen more when no one is in sight. I get dressed, sit with my chin on my knees and my arms snaked around my propped up legs.

I should go back home but somehow, I find myself remaining seated on the damp soil. I'm watching the sunset but I don't see it. My mind isn't focusing on the colors blending before me, but nor is it concentrating on anything else. It decides to be blank for the first time in days, and it's as refreshing as a glass of cool water in the desert. I've been thinking too much lately.

"How is she?"

I haven't heard Yann coming and his voice startles me. Once I'm calmed down, I shrug as he settles next to me. "Still not over it, I guess. She woke up during the night and wasn't able to fall asleep until morning. "

He doesn't ask me how I am, and for that I am grateful. I'm not sure I can provide an honest answer.

We both stay here, quiet as we watch the sunset. Again, I think to myself that I should probably get back home, but I don't want to. I'm fine here. Tired of sitting, I lie on my back. I'll have to wash the soil out of my hair but oh well, who cares? From the corner of my eye, I can see Yann still sitting.

"It used to be my hiding spot." I recall to myself as the crickets start their nocturnal serenade.

"It is my hiding spot," Yann says after a minute or two.

I roll to my side and stare at him. "Are you hiding from mobsters?"

He frowns and turns to face me, "Why do you think that?"