Be Rude but Love Me | ✔

CHAPTER 38

"Ricochet, you take your aim, fire away, away!"

I can see Yann rolling his eyes in exasperation as Ellie and I belt out the lyrics of David Guetta's 2011 hit. Even Lucy seems utterly annoyed as she roasts her marshmallow in the crackling fire; Will is smiling at the both of us with his head down, gazing at the blazing flames; and as for James, he's rapt by Ellie, enveloping her and only her with his eyes.

"... I am titanium!" Both Ellie and I are off key on the notes which are undoubtedly too acute for our weak voices.

"Okay, enough," Will forestalls the continuation of our singing and shoves in our hands sticks that hold roasted marshmallows at their ends.

Ellie pouts in her petulant kid attitude and I simply roll my eyes at Will. "You're just jelly."

"Uh-huh."

I cast a glance towards Yann who's typing away at Will's phone. He concentrates on the task at hand: types, places the phone on his bouncing knee waiting for a reply, picks up the phone when it vibrates, reads the message, and types again. I watch him for several minutes, he never raises his head once. When I avert my gaze, I catch Will observing me with a smile. I frown with a tilt of my head in a questioning gesture. He only shakes his head at me as if to say nothing, his smile turning even wider.

Silently, I eat my marshmallow as I listen to Ellie, Will, James and Lucy keep a conversation alive amongst our group. I can't peel my eyes off Yann, wondering what requires all his attention on the phone. Who is he talking to? Keven? That's more than probable. I recall him saying that night after the fair, I talked to Keven. I recall Ellie saying that it was because of me that he was talking more to Keven. Is that true? As I ponder all of this, I see him hand the phone to Will who gives Yann a weird look I can't decipher to which he responds with a quiet nod.

The others seem too absorbed by their chatter to notice what I do. When Yann settles back on the trunk, it's only to have his eyes directed immediately on me. Out of nowhere, he gets up and gives our group a small I'm out before leaving.

I see Will in my peripheral vision making me signs so I look to see what he wants. He's angling his head towards the direction Yann has taken, saying with unspoken words, go find him. I shake my head at him, telling myself that maybe Yann wants space. I shake my head once more, making him understand that I am not going to find Yann. And suddenly, he's up and walking to me. He takes a seat on the ground next to me in Indian style, our knees touching. He leans in, subtly to the side, and only breathes for a few seconds. Then he pulls away.

And leans back in. "Obviously, something is going on with the two of you. Go find him."

"No, I think he needs space." My tone is willful, but my heart pushes in violent beats against my ribcage at his words.

Will shakes his head at me, "I don't think that's the reason why you're not going."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Then what is it?"

He leans in closer. "You like him and you're afraid that if you go, he will reject you."

I scoff. "Of course not, that's not –"

Will only cuts me off with a slight shake of his head. "You know I'm right."

Dammit. He's right.

Taking my silence for agreement, he continues, "You're pretending not to want something you want. And you obviously want to be –"

I suddenly get up and cut him off with a fine. I leave my friends and go in the direction I saw Yann take off a few minutes earlier. The night is hotter than usual and I have to hold my hair up with my hand as I keep walking. I suddenly wish I always had a hairband on my wrist like Yann often does. I'm looking left and right and in every other possible direction to see Yann but he is nowhere to be found.

I sigh and rest on a rock. After all that walking we did today, my legs are like jell-o and the last thing I want is to be walking around. But I need to find him and make sure he's okay. I just want to know he's fine. Nothing more.