Elyza's POV
People start going around saying how they've been improving or any set backs, and since they're new they briefly say why they're here.
When it's my turn Sean speaks.
"Guys you've probably already met her at breakfast but this is Elyza. Elyza why don't you tell us about why you're joining us for a week." He says.
I look over at Carter and he gives me a small smile.
I sigh and tell them what I told Carter and Sean with no emotion. If I let the emotions in while talking about these things I'd probably look like a crazy person.
When I'm done no one says anything for what seems like hour but only a few minutes. I thought we all had our own stories? Why isn't anyone saying anything?
"Okay guy, sessions up." Sean says.
Everyone gets up and I follow Carter back to the room flopping on my bed.
"Why didn't anyone say anything?" I groan.
"Uh cause you've gone through more things than us. Usually people are here for depression and self harm and it's usually a depression based on not feeling good enough. Not based on that and everything you've gone through." He says from his bed.
"What?" I jolt up.
"What?" He asks.
"I've actually been through more you guys?" I ask.
"Uh yeah, what do you think, that it's average to go through everything you've been through?"
"Well no but I didn't think everyone was gonna react like that." I reply flopping back down.
Carter mocks my actions. "It's alright, they were just trying to process everything."
I don't respond and it's quiet for a little while until Carter speaks up.
"I'm gonna go have lunch, you coming?" He asks standing up.
"I'm not hungry." I reply not moving.
"Oh no, don't try that. You don't have to have snacks here but everyone has to eat breakfast lunch or dinner." He says walking over to me.
I get up and sigh. "Okay."
We go down to the kitchen there's 45 minutes until visiting hours starts. I don't actually know if I want someone to come today or the rest of the week to be completely honest.
I eat a bowl of cereal and wash my dishes heading back upstairs. 15 minutes left.
Man I miss my phone, now I just stair at the ceiling, I'd doodle but I don't see any paper or anything to write with in this room.
"Whatcha thinking about?" Carter asks jumping me.
"Dude what the heck?!" I say sitting up.
Yeah
He laughs. "Visiting hours start in like 2 minutes." He replies.
"How long do they last?" I ask.
"Usually for the majority of the day. They say it's good to have your own support system and not everyone one can come every day and at a set amount of time. Usually when visitors are here they only stay for 2 hours though. Now come on." He says pulling me up from my bed.
I follow him down and sit on the couch.
Soon begin to enter, the first who comes over to Carter, I'm guessing it's his brother.
"Hey bro." He says giving Carter a quick hug.
"Hey." Carter replies smiling, then he looks over to me his brothers eyes following his.
"Grant, this is Elyza. Elyza, this is my brother Grant."
I give him a small smile, "hi."
Grant looks at Carter, "is this for real? Is she who I think it is?"
Carter nods his head.
Then he turns back to me smiling from ear to ear. "Hi. I'm a huge fan of your father."
I smile back as I realize something and I stop smiling.
I'm not an "average" person. My dad is famous so almost everything I do gets put out there. I don't want this going anywhere because, if it does that means dad will have to explain the situation in a vlog because they'll probably be a bunch of made up stories.
"Everything Okay?" Carter asks.
"Uh yeah, just Grant if you could be kind enough to not put it out there that you know I'm here that'd be amazing. I don't want my personal life getting out online for me to me judged anymore then I already am. I'm not saying you can't say you met me or my dad but maybe you could say you met me or my dad tomorrow. Not while visiting Carter."
"Absolutely, I understand." He replies smiling.
Grant looks past me for a moment his smile getting bigger before he quickly looks back at me and instantly looks back up as if someone is behind me.
I look behind me. It's not dad, it's not uncle Jake, it's Kade.
Where's dad? Why is Kade here? I didn't want him to find out.
I look at him and he gives me a quick smile and doesn't move.
"Uh I'll talk to you two later." I say getting up.
I don't say anything to Kade as I walk into the empty kitchen while he follows.
"Where's my dad?" I ask mostly trying to avoid conversation about me being here.
"He had a business call but will be here in an hour or so." He says sitting down at the table.
I stay standing. "Okay."
"Why'd you run last night and why'd you try to end your life again?" He asks not skipping a beat.
I shake my head no. I'm in no way ready for this conversation.
"Elyza?"
"I can't explain it in anyway for you to understand. No matter my reasons they wouldn't seem good enough in your eyes. So what's the point of talking about it?"
"Yes, Elyza no reason if yours would seem good enough in my eyes but they were in yours. So I want to try to understand why."
"Kade-"
"No Elyza you can't shut me out, no matter how hard you try I'm not going away."
"What do you want me to say? That everything got beyond too much? That Zach cheated on me for months and I was too stupid to even know it. That I try so hard to not be in the vlogs and in people's post because most of the fans are so jealous of me they hate me and that doesn't help because they still post stuff. That I understand that you all get some hate but you guys choose to vlog and continue to do everyday because it's part of who you guys are. That it was all too much on top of my own self hate and personal problems. I am so fucked up Kade, you guys don't even know."
