Kade's POV
How am I suppose to respond to this? I can't be mad at what she feels, it's not my place. I can't be angry about what her feelings lead her to do. But I can be angry that she didn't tell anyone that is was getting like this. I can be angry that after all this time she still doesn't trust any of us. I can be angry that she was going to remove herself from this earth.
I internally shake my head no. I can't be mad. I don't know everything and if I did I probably wouldn't be mad at her.
"You're not fucked up Elyza."
She nods her head "sure."
"stop it."
"No, listen. You want to know how I feel? You want to know what I'm thinking about? Fine. Every single day I wake up feeling that I'm not good enough. Knowing that I can't stop the hate I'll receive today on social media. Knowing the only way I can minimize that is to try to stay out of everyone's vlogs even though it's nearly impossible. Everyday I compare myself to others making myself feel ugly and nothing. Everyday I have a battle of whether or not to give in to the thoughts racing in my mind, and I win more days then I think I will but I'm going to lose. I wake up knowing that I have a family that loves me and supports me and doesn't want anything bad to happen to me but it doesn't matter because I spent so much time alone my anxiety is always telling me that one day I'm going to be alone again, that one day everyone is going to be tired of dealing with me so I might as well continue how I have been. I am so fucking broken and fucked up kade that nothing is going to fix me. I've given up. I'm just trying not to hurt everyone along with me. You guys don't deserve this. Dad doesn't deserve to have such a shitty daughter he deserves so much better, a daughter who is bubbly and happy, and fun to be around. Someone who can accept all the love given to her. But he got me. Kade I'm just a passenger in my body, depression has taken over the controls." She says looking at the ground. Half way through of her talking Logan walked in and stood next to me.
Elyza's POV
It's silent for a few moments beside the sound of foot steps. I don't want to look up. Is someone else here? Did kade leave? No, I can hear breathing.
"Elyza?"
Did he hear everything? Kade said it was suppose to be an hour.
I look up and sigh. Kade left and now it's just me and dad staring at each other. Under his eyes are bags, they're not obvious but I can see them.
"Da-"
He makes his way over to me and just holds me. No one says anything. I don't want him to say anything.
