Underground Cavern
To Sarge in the cavern.Sarge: Yeaow, what in the... stupid Grif and Simmons. Can't even build a regulation grave! What did we run all those drills for? So, this is the afterlife, huh? Wish it didn't have to end so, quick. Hoping I could spend some time with my boy. But, this place is a wreck! Who's in charge here, anyway? Need to get me a couple o' Marine Angels, get this place spic 'n' span in no time. You know, now that I think about it, I don't seem to remember much about underground caves in the Bible. Not even that new Bible they rewrote in twenty-forty, with that big chase scene and that weird cameo by Ben Stiller. That guy's a nut. Wait a minute afterlife!? Underground cave!? What if this isn't Heaven! What if it's... noh, it couldn't be. Could it?
Donut: Oh hey Sarge. What're you doin' down here?
Sarge: It is! Oh, it is.
Blue Base
To Caboose, Wade, Tucker and Church watching Tex and Sister from afar.Church: Oh man, this is not gonna work out well for us.
Wade: This is going to be a blood bath.
Tucker: Are you guys, kidding me? We finally have two girls on our team. You know what that means.
Caboose: Yeah. Co-ed softball team! I'm gonna go get my baseball racket.
Church: Tucker, I know what you're thinking, and it's not gonna happen.
Tucker: Oh, why not.
Church: Because girls can't share anything. Not even an apartment. Every time girls live together, within six months, they all hate each other, and somebody gets stuck with a twelve hundred dollar phone bill. That's fact.
Tucker: Ah, let them fight. As long as we get to watch them making up who cares? We can even record it and sell copies to the Reds.
Wade: Is that all you think about?
Tucker: Trust me on this Wade, after we sell those copies, well be rich!
Underground Cavern
Back to the cavern.Sarge: Nooooo. Moooan.
Donut: It's been crazy down here Sarge.
Sarge: Noooo.
Donut: You wouldn't believe all the stuff I found.
Sarge: Sorrowful sounds. Pleas for forgiveness.
Donut: Sarge, keep it down.
Sarge: I have sinned.
Donut: We don't want them to hear you.
Sarge: Donut. Don't interrupt my repentful moaning. If I want God to forgive me, I need to be as miserable as possible. He loves that stuff.
Donut: This isn't Hell, Sarge! And you're not dead.
Sarge: Repent! Repent!
Donut: Come on Sarge, be quiet. I've been exploring down here and I've found some really crazy stuff. Look!
Donut and Sarge peer at a Blue facility from a distance.
Sarge: Why that fort looks like a Blue Base. And just when I thought Hell couldn't get any worse.
Donut: Yeah, but look at that.
Donut points at a big purple wraith.
Sarge: What in the hell is that thing?
Donut: I don't know, but it sure looks a lot like the motorcycle I found in the cave upstairs.
Sarge: Donut why didn't you report this?
Donut: I couldn't! My radio broke when I fell.
Queue radio sounds.
Simmons: (Radio) Come in Sarge, are you there?
Sarge: Hello, is that you Simmons?
Donut: No, I'm Dooonut. Did you get amnesia from your fall or something?
Sarge: Shut up, Donut.
Donut: Uh, okay?
Another radio sound.
Leo: (Radio) Sarge! Are you okay, we had no idea this would happen!
Sarge: It's alright Leo, I'm fine but, how are you in hell right now!?
Simmons: (Radio) Sarge, we're down in the cave with you. Are you sure your okay? Please tell me you're okay.
Sarge: Fine. What's your boys location?
Donut: I'm standing right here, next to you!
Sarge: Shut up!
Leo: (Radio) We're looking for you right so, just hang in there!
Simmons: (Radio) Leo and Grif are with me and we're up on top of some kind of peninsular outcropping.
Sarge: Euh, you're on top o' Leo and Grif's what?
Donut: Leo and Grif aren't anywhere around here.
Sarge: Donut, I told you to be quiet!
Donut: Well stop asking me stuff then.
Simmons: (Radio) No, we're on a peninsular ledge trying to find you.
Sarge: Roger that, I've got Donut. You three sit tight and we'll find you.
Simmons: (Radio) Roger that. Simmons and Leo out.
To Grif, Leo and Simmons.
Grif: Dude, what was all that stuff about your penis ruler?
Leo: How the hell is Donut, alive!?
Back with Sarge and Donut.
Sarge: I just talked to Leo and Simmons on the radio.
Donut: Ooohohoh, the radio.
Sarge: I told them to hold still, we'll come to them.
Donut: Sarge, I don't think you realise just how big this place is. There's no landmarks or anything, just one rock after another that all look the same. Finding them will be like finding a needle in a haystack.
Sarge: He said they were standing on some kind of a, penis nu-
Donut: Oh! I know where that is. Let's go.
The End
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Red vs Blue Season 5: Male OC
AdventureRvB Season 5, join the reds and blues as mystery's are revealed, old enemies return, secrets are spilled and hearts are shattered. The OC Leo is Owned by Me. Red vs Blue is Owned by "Rooster Teeth" The OC Wade is Owned by @DeadMC55