Exposed

Chapter XXIIII: Solo

Chapter Twenty-Four: Solo.

I hold my phone in my hand. Still in shock and broken.

My phone bings with the announcement of a new text message. The message is sent from BLOCKED. This time, the video, proving that my pain is just getting worse. The video automatically downloads and begins to play when I open the text, validating that the voice in the audio from the phone call is in fact Jake.

"All sh-she was... was a gg-goooddd fuck..."

"Wh-who e-eendded up be..ing all..so batshit crazy."

The words play over and over again through my phone's speakers and my head.

He loves me.

He wouldn't do this to me.

He can't.

I've gone into a state of shock combined with physical numbness and internal ache. I don't want to believe he classifies me as crazy. I've tried my best to be as normal as I can for myself, him and every else around me. I'm taking my medication. I'm controlling my mind as much as I can. I... I... I'm doing as much as I can, but it doesn't seem like it's enough for him to not frown upon my illness. I sit on the bed, bringing my head to my hands as my shoulders shake.

I don't feel him, enter the room. I forgot all about counting his time back and lost sense of time.

"Sky? What's wrong?" Jake crouches down at the edge of the bed.

He pulls my head from my hands, cupping my wet cheeks with both of his hands. I don't fight him not because I want him to touch me, but because I'm too distraught to do something about it.

I shake my head, hiccuping a breath between all the tears and silent sobs. If you want to hit me where it hurts the most, just criticize and judge me for my bipolar disorder and that's what he did in that recording.

"No. Talk to me." He demands. "You were happy just a few minutes ago. What happened?"

I take his hands away from my face, cleaning my cheeks with my forearms as I reach for my phone. I unlock it, playing the video once again. This time for him.

"I doonn'tt... fucking care any...more." His voice emits from my phone for the third time. "All sh-she was... was a gg-goooddd fuck..."

Jake's face remains expressionless as he continues to listen and watch the video of him struggling to stand up straight as a group of strangers surrounds him. Tears silently continuing to fall.

"Wh-who e-eendded up be..ing all..so batshit crazy."

He rubs his mouth and his chin with his hand and continues to watch.

"Happy fucking New Year!" And the clip finally comes to an end.

Jake's hand goes from his mouth to his hair, still not demonstrating any emotion or response to what he just saw which only scares me more. The room is filled with silence and tension radiating from us. I'm waiting for him to say something, something that would at least somehow minimize the pain and humiliation I'm feeling.

Jake drops his hand to his hands, avoiding eye contact. "Holly filmed it." He stops. "I don't.. I don't remember everything, but I remember enough to know it was her."

My hopes of my hurt being dissipated vanish.

"Is that what you think of me?" I question. "Look at me, Jake!" I yell, desperate for him to answer my question.

"No! It's not what I think of you!" He yells, abruptly standing up. His voice resonates through the room. "I'm hammered, pissed out of my mind in the video to the point I don't remember that! You know me. Do you think I would speak of a woman that way? Especially you, Sky. As much as I could have hated you or anyone at the time, I wouldn't bad mouth you or them to a group of strangers. I would never disrespect you that way."