Going Downwards to the Single Survivor

A Sister's Heartbreak

Amelia's POV

"Is now a bad time?" I ask as I take in Alex's bloody and bandaged hand, and Meredith's downtrodden appearance. Meredith looks up at me and then proceeds to motion for Alex to leave. My heart sinks, realizing that what I'm about to be told doesn't align with the outcome I was hoping for. "He's gone, isn't he," I ask as tears start to fill my eyes. I blink furiously, not letting the tears escape, hiding any semblance of weakness. I hope that this assumption is a result of my never-ending pessimism and not the embodiment of my new reality. Meredith's faltering gaze confirm the latter, and my control starts to loosen. The first tear breaks through the walls I've built up to protect myself over the years, and more tears follow suit. I can't imagine a world where my egotistical older brother is not. Where the only person who doesn't think that I'm a train wreck waiting to happen is gone. He's been the only person in my life who's stood by my side through thick and thin, whose support has never wavered. I guess that when people get close to me, they end up dying or leaving: their lives in ruins. All-in-all it was time for Derek to follow suit on the end of a long train of people who've gone.

"Amelia," Meredith says softly, as she motions for me to come forwards. I look into her eyes and am shocked at the look of compassion that she is giving me. Despite my former reservations, I let her pull me into her arms and give me a tight hug. I hug back, and at that moment I know that I'm not alone. That no matter how much pain Meredith is in, no matter how much she has lost, she is still willing to comfort me, she still cares. The funny thing is that in my few minutes of meeting her I like her more than the sisters that I do have. "Shhh Amelia, it's going to be okay. I've got you," she whispers as she rubs circles on my back.

Once the tears have subsided, I straighten myself up and pull away from her embrace. "You know what, I've always hated private planes," I joke and she just shakes her head.

"Yeah, me too. They're very likely to crash people's egos down a few flights," she mutters under her breath, and I start hysterically laughing.

"What are you two getting up to in here," Addie questions from where she is leaning in the doorway, "I do hope neither of you are causing too much trouble."

"Nope sir, we're strictly abiding protocol," I say, straightening my posture and doing a mock salute.

"Sir?" she questions, shaking her head at my antics.

"Well, I'm just following Sergeant Cooper's directives sir," I answer as she sighs in mock exasperation.

"I assume that little Shepherd here isn't causing you too many problems?" she asks Meredith, who just shakes her head and rolls her eyes.

"Nope, she's been great at providing entertainment," Meredith jokes. Addie looks back and forth between the floor and Meredith, seemingly struggling to make a decision. Meredith seems to have picked up on her interior struggle, and any residual joking atmosphere depletes almost instantly. "He didn't make it Addie, I'm so sorry," she says to answer the unasked question.

"What?" Addie replies, not having picked up on the obviousness of the cause of her interior struggle.

"D-D-Der-rek is dead..." Meredith announces quietly, but the words' result on the room is deafening. Addie sits down heavily in one of the chairs, taking her head in her hands. Meredith recedes back into her own mind, effectively tuning out from the surrounding room. To hear it pronounced, so definitely, eradicates any prior hope that I had been holding onto. The hope that I had misunderstood Meredith, the hope that this was all a joke, the hope that this was a bad dream that I could wake up from; that's all gone now. My big brother is dead. Derek can no longer live in the present tense, any fact or story told about him will be in past tense. The only thing about him that can remain in the present tense is his death. The proclamation, those three small words that continue to echo around my skull. Those three words hit me like a train. There was no room for doubt or hope left in those three definitive words: Derek is dead. 

Hi Guys!

Sorry it took so long for me to update – approximately three years I believe – but school has been really busy so I haven't had enough time to write anymore. I hope you guys really enjoy the chapter, it's been a long time coming, hasn't it? Whose point of view do you think I should write from next? I'm planning to try to update at least once a month, but it'll depend on how busy life gets once school has started. Well, bye for now and I really hope you guys like this chapter!

Sincerely,

Grey's Anatomy Girl