Shape of me✔️

The Beginning-kind of

S U M M A R Y
A Nigerian girl living in another country finds out that there's more to her than just thick thighs, a large bum and a fat drum of insecurities. She learns that accepting and being her true self is the best gift she could ever give herself.
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S Y N O P S I S
Tope's life changed once she left Nigeria. It seemed like she left her self-esteem, self-confidence and self-dignity back home. But then again, she has another place she has to call home. She struggles to come to terms with the fact that she has to move on and forward with her life.

After getting betrayed by her best friend, she has no one else to turn to and the fact that she's a big nobody at school doesn't help matters in anyway. That is until she finds a new friend who influences a big change in her life.

Is she ready for this change? No one actually knows.

She tries to juggle school life with her secret-almost-perfect gram life being regulated by her mentor who stays by her side teaching her all she needs to know.

School life? Check.

Gram life? Check.

What about her romantic life?

How far can she go loving in the dark coupled with trying to be perfect? And most importantly how quickly can she regain her lost self-confidence, become a queen of her own and get her man in a godly way before the end of the school year?

Join Tope aka 'queen nobody' on her journey to self-recovery. With fasting and prayers, she'll jump over the hurdles of arched eyebrows, score a five on the know-hows of makeup, mine a gold from her contours and highlights, wow the world with modestly sexy dresses and cuff cute guys with the fear of God in mind.
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Cover by @giftTaylor
Please check her out loves. She makes awesome covers.
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S H A P E O F M E
I missed the bustling cities and overcrowded streets that seemed to have birthed me. I yearned for the sound of the brewery company far was just a few steps from my house. I craved for the long, frequent walks I usually took to my best friend's house. Even though I didn't miss my ex-best friend.

I surprisingly also missed the insults thrown at each other by drivers on the road. It was always a funny soap opera. But I most especially longed for the awesome foods that could never be 'not' delicious. I missed all of it. Even the me I was then. 

"Idiot!" Dad hurled at a driver that cut him off on the traffic. Maybe I didn't miss the drivers insulting each other part that much. I still had that here with me.

"Can we please stop at Square 1?"

No answer.

"Dad can we please stop at the mall? I just want a new top for school on Monday."

Still no answer. What did I expect?

My dad and I never got along–which was mostly because I was less of his daughter than anyone could ever be. We weren't related by blood, but still it hurt me every single time he ignored me.

I was always the one trying. He never made any efforts to patch up our worn out relationships and when I managed to do so, he never acknowledged the fact that I tried.

Mami secretly forced me whenever she could to try to make our relationship as father and daughter work out, but I already knew the end result. We were never meant to work out as father and daughter.

It wasn't my fault that I wasn't his child and it most certainly wasn't my fault that he could not love me or at least try to do so.

As the cars sped on, I watched him jerk the steering wheel to each side as controlling as he was to everyone around him, and it made me wonder just how great it would feel to able to control my own life. Or even better, to control my future.

Sometimes, it feel like I was living my life for everyone else but me.

"Are you still with dad?" A text came from my very own oppressor.

"Sadly, yes." I texted back.

"Y'all taking too much time. Can you get your ass back home? I need you on a girl matter." Came the immediate reply.

"Do it yourself and I'm going to make sure that mum knows you tryna be swearing."

"Okay na. Sorry. Abeg make una just come back on time na."

"Bye Tunde."

As the cars swished by, I wished I was somewhere else. I hated going grocery shopping most especially when it was with him. I hated having to do anything with him and most of all, I hated him. My 'dad'.

Before going further, ranting on about my life, courtesy would have me introduce myself.

I am Temitope Heather Ogundayo. At home I'm called Tope, and at school I'm called Temi. I prefer the name Temi because it sounds more smooth and sweet. My family however prefers 'Tope' and that's what I've been called since the day I was born.

I am a short, fat and insecure girl(I'm not sure this is supposed to be in my intro...)who is absolutely not thrilled about the fact that I have to go back to doing time in prison next week. I mean school by the way.

In all sincerity, Christmas had its perks apart from the zillion plates I had to wash. It meant I didn't have to face anyone but my family. I didn't have to pretend to be someone else and I most certainly didn't have to long for things–people included–I knew could never be mine.

With this, one would think I loved spending time with my family, but that could not be farther from the truth. School truly was a prison, but funny enough also a haven for me. I could hide away from my parents and their incessant troubling. But then again, I was a totally different person at school. I was not the me I wanted to be and neither was I the me everyone else wanted to be.

Plain, fat and ugly were three words that told my story and drew a thick line that separated me from others—normal girls. Far from the type of girl Javonte King would ever notice. Javonte was the king of Croner's High School—if it wasn't obvious from his last name—and I'd had a crush on him since freshman year. As expected.

No one knew what his parents had in mind when they named him, but I could bet they knew he was going to grow into a tall, sexy, handsome, charming, cool (okay maybe I'm using too many words now) guy that someone like me could never reach.

It was a 'given'. Me and Javonte's parts could never cross except in the hallways where I always made sure to make a spectacle of myself. Not that it mattered, as he never noticed my charades, and this was bittersweet for me.

I wasn't one of those tall, beautiful or sexy girls that he deserved. And I was sure just as I was of the stretch marks on my laps that he did not want a girl with thick thighs, a fat butt and close to non-existent boobs. In other words, me.

Life would be so much better if I was proud of the me I was. But I wasn't. I couldn't be. You wouldn't either, if you were me.
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"Roll that glass up!" A yell startled me as I complied and rolled my glass up slowly. A few flurries floated in through the window and landed on my fat laps that were enclosed in a jean trouser. They melted before I could make a move to hold them.

According to the forecast, it was going to snow heavily today and I couldn't be more happy as it meant I was going to visit Miss Willoughby tomorrow. I wouldn't have to go out with anyone like I did today and Mami wouldn't be able to force me to work on stupid, broken relationships.

The billboard far in front of flashed a bright light as I leaned my head on the windscreen. "Welcome to Mississauga" it said and I wondered if I should do the same for myself. "Okay, I have decided..."

Welcome to Tope's life.

It's gonna be a long and disgusting ride, trust me.
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Thanks for reading loves! Please do note that this book is unedited and there will be mistakes and some grammatical errors. I hope you all still enjoy reading!💛