Full Circle

Chapter 15 - Miss (Part 1)

Sorry it took a while to release this chapter. This is the longest chapter I've written - a little over 8000 words. I split it into 2 parts so it wouldn't be too dragging to read all at once.

Hope you enjoy reading.

-----

Phana POV

"Hi, love. How was your day?"

'It was tiring, P'Pha. I've been looking all over for you.'

"Why were you looking for me, baby?"

'Because I was afraid you'd leave. You won't right?'

"Uhm, N'Yo, the thing i..."

'So it's true! You will leave me. You don't love me anymore.'

"That's not true, Yo. I... I don't have a choice."

'Of course you have a choice, and you choose to break my heart!'

"I'm sorry."

'It's fine.'

"Really? You're not mad at me?"

'Nope.'

"But you're sad."

'I'm not sad, too. Actually, I'm happy.'

"Ha-happy?"

'Yes, very much in fact. N'Joss and Ai'Nonkul and P'Earth are treating me very well. They really love me, unlike you, P'Phana.'

"No! They will just ruin you. Stay away from them. They'll hurt you."

'Tss, as if you really care. It's you who ruined me. And don't worry, they can't hurt me any more than you did.'

His words were bullets. Yo killed me. He killed me the same way I killed him - with words.

Knock. Knock.

The sound pulls me from my stupor. Fuck! I really am going crazy. I'm talking with Yo in my head for the nth time while staring at his face. This is what isolating your heartbroken, dying self for a week does to your sanity. 'Get a grip, Phana. The last thing you want is to go mad,' I murmur to myself as I head for the door.

I open the door and take the package. The delivery guy was taken aback when he saw a greasy, disheveled man open the door for him. I immediately pull out the new syringe and inject myself. I groan as the drug travels through my veins, burning its tracks. After a painful minute, relief starts to kick in.

Dr. Prachaya sent the stronger painkillers directly to my hotel room. I've run out of the first drug he gave me since it's already been a week since I got them.

I don't feel any pain anymore and haven't had any painful episode since I started taking the medicines, but I know that my body is slowly giving in to the disease, what with my limbs going numb for several hours, rendering me helplessly immobile. It's just like the paralysis I get during the attacks, but without the searing pain.

Every time I wake up, my pillow would be drenched in blood coming out from my nose and ears during sleep. Peeing blood is not a pleasant sight as well. At first I panicked, but I've gotten used to it since it happens every morning, along with the throwing up of blood. It's like blood is desperately trying to escape my body in every exit it can find.

A week has passed since the parking lot incident and I haven't gotten out of my hotel room since then, not even once. The only people I saw were the delivery guys of my supplies. It felt empty. I wanted to see Wayo so bad, but the effect of realizing that I don't have the right to him anymore hit me like a train. And just picturing him going through what I'm going through is enough to keep my feet planted where I couldn't harm him.