chapter two | a journal?

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"Yah! Give me some more!"

It was my turn to say that line as soon as I emptied the first bottle of my drink.

They all looked at each other with worried looks as I grabbed another bottle of that drink, emptying it up down to its' bottom.

At the corner of my eye, I saw Jisoo unnie wiped a tear and Taehyung oppa squeezed her hand while Jungkook offered a tissue with a smile. She politely shook her head and smiled as she excused herself to go to the restroom.

I was too damn sad after Jisoo unnie's announcement of going to New Zealand to take part of our company's journey.

I did not imagine a life without that chicken enthusiast. She makes my day happy and she keeps me sane during crazy times. There's nothing I can do about it, especially if the word comes out to eomma or appa, words basically turn to automatic rules.

Taehyung oppa sat down beside me as Jungkook excused himself to take a call. "Jendeukie, you'll be alright."

I looked at him and cried myself out on my cousin.

"Oppa~ I just can't imagine a life without unnie. She's the only thing I have in my everyday life. After a stressful day at work, she welcomes me with that warm smile on her face and with the sound of 'ppoong.' I accepted my life without our parents but I don't think I can process a life without Jisoo unnie. I'll miss her so damn much, Taehyung oppa."

Taehyung offered his arms for a hug and I gladly accepted it. "Jen, if you're feeling lonely, you still have us, though."

"But, it's far from the accompaniment of my unnie." I pouted like a kid.

Out of nowhere, I went to the bar and sat on one of its' fancy stools. "One vodka, please."

The barteneder nodded and gave me one shot of vodka. I drank all of it and closed my eyes for I was feeling the burning sensation of the drink on my throat.

When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was a brown notebook, which looked like an old one, placed at the end of the countertop.

"Hey, what's that?" I asked the bartender. He went to it immediately and gave it to me. "Oh, and you don't look like a Korean. Do you speak Korean? Annyeonghaseyo?"

I look like an idiot whenever I'm drunk and I often get ridiculed by people.

The bartender laughed and shook his head. "I'm Thai but I can speak Korean well."

My mouth turned into an 'O' shape and my hands traveled the leathery cover of the notebook.

"Is this," I lifted the thing up. "A journal?"

He nodded and he said a lot of things but I couldn't hear it.

"...you can have it."

----

"Thanks for the ride, Jungkook. Take care of Taehyung for me, arasso? Kamsamnida." Said Jisoo unnie, who brought me outside the latter's car and smiled at him. I was super drunk alongside Taehyung oppa.

As soon I got back to our table last night with a journal on my hand, Taehyung and I had a contest of how many shots can the other go.

We ended up emptying a bottle of vodka and disappointment from our guardians, Jisoo unnie from me and Jungkook for him.

Maybe this is a way for lessening the pain of Jisoo unnie going to New Zealand. Maybe this can be a way.

I felt the warmth of my bed and I drifted off to sleep again.

Maybe one day, I'll accept the reality, unnie. Maybe one day.

----

A/N: hm, a journal, eh?

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