we were sitting on the playground set in the abandoned park, legs dangling from the rocking bridge
our backpacks sat in the rocks below us
i hadn't said a word the whole walk, relieved that you didn't ask any of those cliche questions. you let me be, let me be the first to talk
"i hate it"
you looked over at me, surprise appearing on your pale face
god, your sky eyes made me even more frustrated
"there, i said it. happy now?" i folded my arms, shaking my head as i stared down at my green vans
i knew you well enough to know a smile appeared on your lips, asking, "ah, now you finally say the truth?"
i was still pissed off. right there, i saw red in my vision, falling apart like a crashing airplane
"no, it's not like that, i don't hate it because your my best friend, i hate it because i really like you and i just secretly repressed it for the past year and it just all came out of me in the past week, sun king, and i hate it so much because you're happy with her and i don't want to ruin it by saying that i may or may not be in love with you, so yeah, i hate it, you were right, but not with the right reasons"
your smile disappeared
we sat there, watching the sun set and the stars come out to dance, my head leaning on your shoulder after all my crying, and your hand just a few centimeters away from mine
i saw you stare at our hands
i don't know what ran through your head
please, don't leave
stay
