Perfectly Wrong || Shawn M.

Part 8

I had something to say I swear

***

"So... what did you wanna talk about?" Shawn asked awkwardly, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. I plopped down on my bed, facing him.

"I'm... I don't know how to say this... I mean-"

"You're with Gilinsky?" Shawn suggested, his face falling without him realizing it.

"No! No. He's a brother to me, I swear." I rushed, knowing what was gonna come next.

"And you kissed your brother, that's fucked up." Shawn said, getting more upset as he spoke.

"No, he... this is gonna sound an excuse, but it's the truth, I promise." I started, looking away from him briefly before making eye contact again. "Jack wanted to see how you felt about me." I confessed. He looked confused and a little angry, which was slightly intimidating.

"Wait, so G kissed you and you kissed him back because... he wanted to know how I feel about you? You know that makes no sense." He said, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Not to you, maybe. But it didn't mean anything." I said, moving my hands as I spoke. I didn't want to piss him off more than I already did, but by the looks of things, I wasn't helping one bit.

"You kissed my friend and it meant nothing? I'm good at hiding my feelings but... wow." Shawn said in a raised voice, unlinking his arms to throw them in the air.

"Yes! Exactly!" I yelled back.

"Well it meant something to me!" He yelled.

I'd never seen someone so serious about something like this, not even my parents. Maybe he'd had a few bad experiences with relationships, but I didn't. It was hard for me to understand how he felt, and I had a suspicion that that would become a problem if we didn't hate each other after this.

"It wasn't supposed to!" I yelled in a desperate tone.

"Well it fucking did. Thanks for leading me on, Leila. I guess all girls really are the same." He spat, turning to the door and reaching out for the gold colored handle.

I didn't have the time to think of what that meant, so I didn't. Instead, I stood up.

"Wait." I said softly. His motions slowed to a stop. I guess I did have some power over him after all.

"Why?" Shawn laughed bitterly.

"Why can't you believe me?" I asked, I sounded slightly heartbroken, which I wasn't. He let out a heavy sigh and dropped his arm before turning back around to face me.

"It feels like the only person I can afford to believe anymore is myself." He mumbled, probably thinking that I couldn't hear.

"What?" I asked, trying to keep my voice gentle.

"I said sorry for being a jerk. I don't know what's wrong with me today." He said, looking down at his feet.

"No-"

"I shouldn't of acted that way to anyone when we first met. I don't know what made me act like that." Shawn said, seeming truthful. The only lie I could detect was that he knew damn well what made him act like that when we met, I just didn't know what it was.

I stayed silent as I got lost in my thoughts. I only snapped out of them when Shawn slowly lifted my head up with his hand. I met his gaze and he brought his hand back down to his side.

"Sorry." He said with a Canadian accent. I couldn't help but to giggle, I never thought I'd be friends with a Canadian.

"What?" Shawn said with an adorable smile. I stopped giggling, but didn't stop smiling.