Everyone Is Flawed {Completed}

~13~

"Noah, you really are an ass." I sigh as the words are once again, thrown at my face by my lovely sister. She hasn't even been back for an hour and I already feel like I need to grovel for Blaze's forgiveness. Which is the exact opposite of what I wanted Carly to convince me of. This time, my emotions are frigid and I hope it stays like that.

"Hello, Carly. Oh, I'm fine thanks and you? How's Blaze? Oh, I don't know, she hasn't spoken to me in three weeks. Why do I look like death? Because it's draining to live without her. Why did I do it? I didn't, I just told you I did so you would show up." My sarcasm catches Carly off-guard, whilst Nathan just stares at me in confusion. Carly sure enjoys keeping people in the dark. Poor guy most probably won't know she's expecting until she's in labour.

To be fair, he'd still know more than I did.

Stop being so pissy about the whole situation, we know about them now. Get over it.

Says the one who went batshit crazy when we found out.

"What? You didn't?" The high-pitched shrill snaps me out of my reverie and I shake my head at her incredulous tone. I motion my hand for them to follow me to my bedroom/office, since that's the only place I seem to find privacy anymore. Anna has been trying to wriggle herself next to me for the past week, not only annoying me, but also causing Phillip to develop a serious jealousy issue.

He should know she's only trying to help me and in her own little way, protect my heart. She always has, against Veronica, when Carly died, my father, anybody who ever tried getting close to me. She always made sure that I'm okay with everything since she knows how I can be when I am hurt. I never really knew how to express any other emotions apart from anger and indifference... That is until I met Blaze. My Little Mate made me feel things I hated to let in; she still does.

"We'll talk about this in private. I don't want anybody to panic over nothing." I sigh as my sluggish steps makes the stairs feel like a thousand mile hike. I really should stop feeling sorry for myself and be more productive, maybe I'll feel better. Not likely, though. All I need to feel better, is my Love. A gym wouldn't hurt though, it helped me a lot these past four years.

"Okay, we're in solitude and nobody will hear whatever nonsense you're about to spout." I breathe a heavy sigh and look over at my sister with dull eyes. Carly flinches and her hardened exterior desolves into a sympathetic slouch. I almost scoff at the transformation. Seconds ago, she was ready to rip my manhood off, blaming me for the current rift between Blaze and I, and now she's acting like the caring sister I need. Everybody will always choose Blaze's side though, because I'm so terrible, it couldn't possibly be anybody else's fault. I refrain from rolling my eyes at my thoughts and concentrate on Carly's concerned words.

She used to choose my side without question. She would always defend my side, even if all evidence point to the situation being my fault, especially with my father. I have always been the foreshadowed screw-up, but when Carls dissappeared, nobody could find it in themselves to blame me for once. I blamed myself though.

My father blamed me as well. That's why he ran off with my mother. I think he might have blamed himself for what happened to Carly too. Probably not though, it could've also been the shame of me beating him at a challenge for the title of Alpha. My mother, being the doting mate that she always will be, chose to leave with him. She didn't even glance back. I always wished that she didn't say good-bye because it would have been too hard and maybe she would have stayed.

The guilt gnawed at me for years and it wasn't long before I became a shadow of my former self and although the pack may have strengthened under my relentless rage, everybody was afraid of me. I'd like to think they were the way they were because of respect and loyalty, but I turned out just like my father. Nobody really wanted to converse with me unless they really have to. Aaron was the only other wolf besides Anna who really tried with me. They tried to get me to laugh or smile everyday. They even tried to get Veronica to make me fall in love with her, little did they know that was her plan from the start. Yet now, I think I might understand. Since I've found Blaze, I kept order with less fear and more respect in the pack. I want that to always be the case.