Deadpool's Day Out

Part 7: The Girl From U.R.A.N.U.S.

"Ugh, is the day over yet?" I groaned to myself. After mine and Spidey's battle with Doc Ock, I was more tired and hungry than ever. I can't even remember the last time I was this hungry. I decided it was time to get my food and go home ASAP.

"You know, this would be a LOT easier if I had my teleportation belt. Madame Author, why didn't you write it in for me?"
"Because you haven't had one in the comics for years, it's a Joe Kelly invention, and it would ruin the story."
"How would it ruin the story?
This story is non canon, so why do you care about continuity?"

"Because I like to have SOME order in my stories, and besides that, if you did have your teleportation belt, you could've avoided most, if not all of the situations the day as thrown at you so far.
Not to mention the situations you will run into before the story's over.
So for storytelling purposes, you don't have the belt, nor will you get it."

"So for the sake of entertainment, you are going to allow me to suffer instead of letting me take the easy way out? Is that right?"
"Pretty much."
I sighed glumly at the author's response.

"Well, you're not the first author to do this, and I know for sure you won't be the last. But because my current state has made me crabbier than Wolverine is everyday, I'm going to have to say, and don't take this personally, Fuck you."
"Right back at cha, buddy."

I chuckled a little bit at the author's sassy reply, when suddenly I heard another chuckle nearby that sort of sounded like a woman's chuckle.

"Author lady, was that you?" "Negative, ghost rider."
"Do you always have deep conversations with yourself?"
I was startled by a woman's voice coming from behind me.

I turned around and saw a beautiful woman standing in front of me. She had shoulder length brown hair with blonde highlights, bright green eyes, ruby red lips, and she was wearing black skinny jeans, black leather high heeled boots, and a tight black vinyl jacket.

I was so struck by her that all I could say to her was "Uhhhh...." She chuckled again, and replied "You shouldn't do that too much, otherwise people will think you're crazy. Thought based on what I've read about you, Mr. Wilson, that seems to already be the case."

I snapped out of my trance. Wait a minute. Did she just call me Mr. Wilson?
"How do you know my name?"
"Obviously I looked into your background before I approached you. Your full name is Wade Winston Wilson, correct?"
"Yeah, that's my name. Though when I'm wearing this mask I go by Deadpool." I said, pointing at my mask.

"Alright, then that's what I'll call you. Now come on, we need to go."
I was very confused at this point, so I was hesitant to go anywhere, even if the girl was pretty.
"Hold your horses, little lady.
Why would I just agree to follow you? I don't even know you!"
The girl stopped in her tracks and proceeded to explain herself.
"My name is Tabitha, and I work for a secret organization."

"And what, pray tell, is this organization called?" I asked with a skeptical tone in my voice.
"The Undercover Resistance Against Nefarious Underground Societies, or U.R.A.N.U.S. for short."

I snickered, not believing what I just heard.
"Did you just say Uranus?" She looked at me quizzically.
"Yes. Why?"
Once I got confirmation of the ridiculous name, I busted out laughing.
"Yes, yes, I know. Uranus. Ha ha ha. Trust me, we've heard it all before. But we are a very serious organization that deals with equally serious matters." Tabitha said with a sarcastic yet serious tone in her voice.

I stopped laughing for a moment. "Serious matters? And what would those be?"
"It's in the name. We deal with nefarious underground societies, or to simplify it, evil groups working in the shadows."