Deadpool's Day Out

Part 12: Central Park Showdown

We went over the wall, and for a moment I thought we would avoid crashing completely. Unfortunately, Tabitha shook me out of my thought process and yelled "Deadpool we're about to crash into that tree!"

I looked at the large tree in front of us. "Oh for God's sake!" I exclaimed in an irritated voice as I unbuckled and threw myself over Tabitha to protect her.
"CRASH!!!" "Ow. Ow ow owwww!"

I was able to save Tabitha from getting hurt, but my ass ended up going through the windshield (seriously, my ass is litterally sticking out of the windshield), hence me saying "Ow".
Tabitha unbucked her seat belt and opened her door so she could jump out, her weapons bag in tow.
"Hey, what about me?!? I literally put my ass on the line for you and you're just going to leave me like this?!?" "Give me a minute!" Tabitha snapped.

She reached into her bag a pulled out a rope. She tossed it to me through her open door. Eventually she was able to pull me out, though unfortunately I've got a bunch of glass shards embedded in my ass (sitting down for the next week is going to be a pain in my- no that's too easy, joke withdrawn).
Tabitha looked at me with a smile on her face, apparently happy she got out of that whole mess alive.

I looked around, trying to figure out where we landed (I know we landed in a tree, but I didn't know where the tree was, you smartasses).
"Where are we?"
"Central Park." Tabitha replied.
"Ah, that would explain the trees and the fields of grass and the tackey statues."

Tabitha chuckled at my "witty" observation. At least she was in a better mood now. It was short lived, however, as her smile suddenly faded and her eyes grew wide again. I looked over and saw a giant shadow in front of us. "KRAKAKABOOOOMMM!!!"

We both fell to the ground from the shockwave. Black Bart was now standing right in front of us, still huffing and puffing and wheezing. "Ha *huff* ha *huff*, you chumps *wheeze* you *huff* thought you *wheeze* could get *cough cough* away *huff* from me?" *click click*

I looked around. A small army of lackeys had surrounded us with machine guns and AK-47's. Black Bart must've called in more backup to do his dirty work for him. Just like a common low low level crime boss. Man, I wish we were fighting Kingpin. At least Kingpin would've had the balls to fight us himself.

Suddenly, there was a loud scream. Black Bart fell to his knees with a loud thud that shook the ground, holding his head with both hands. "AHHHHHHHGH, MY HEAD!!! MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD!!!"
He fell on his side in pain. It was at that moment he started sweating and shaking profusely.
Tabitha leaned over and whispered "It's working, he's going through major withdrawals! Any moment now he should have a-"

"GAAAAAAHHHAHA!!!"
Black Bart grabbed at his chest, and started foaming at the mouth.
He had suffered the final symptom: a massive heart attack.
A minute after that last outcry of pain, he stopped moving and was laying on the ground with his eyes wide open.
It was obvious he was dead.
Me, Tabitha and the army of lackeys just stood there and looked at one another. But before anyone could say anything, something rather unexpected happened.
*Splat!!!*

Black Bart's body suddenly exploded, causing neon purple body parts and matching neon purple goop to go everywhere.
And I do mean EVERYWHERE.
I'll say this, it was a bad time to be going comando.

Anyway, we were all still standing there, reacting in our own way to being covered in Black Bart goo.
One guy puked, then another guy puked at the sight of the first guy puking. Tabitha quickly looked away and took a washcloth out of her bag to wipe her face with.
I just used my hand to wipe my mask.