Deadpool's Day Out

Part 11: I Can't Even

"Honey I'm Hooooooly Shit!!!"

The sight that greeted me and Tabitha was one neither of us was prepared for. No amount of mental preparation could've prepared us for this.

In the office awaiting us was Black Bart, only it wasn't. Apparently when he got alerted to our presence he decided to ingest multiple bottles of his own product as a line of defense.

Those bottles, along with some of the capsules he didn't swallow were scattered all over the floor.
And now Black Bart was this giant, glowing purple monster with matching eyes and super thick muscles all over.
Picture the Hulk if he was twice as big and neon purple. And bald.
I looked over at Tabitha and she had the exact same wide eyed, fearful look I did.

Black Bart laughed a loud maniacal laugh and said in a loud booming voice "So, you chumps think you can just come in and shut down my little operation eh!?! Well guess what, buttercups, you'll have to go through me!"

He then clapped his giant hands together, causing a huge shockwave that launched me and Tabitha out the door, past the stairs and all the way to the ground. I landed first, and man did it do a number on my back. I'm going to need a chiropractor after this.

My back problems however didn't stop me from rolling over and catching Tabitha.
The landing would've been much worse for her otherwise (she doesn't have a healing factor like yours truly). She lifted her head and looked at me with gratitude. But before she could thank me, I looked up and saw Black Bart stomp out of his office.

He looked down at us with an evil grin. He was getting ready to jump. I rolled on top of Tabitha, scooped her up, and covered her since I knew we weren't going to be able to get outta the way in time.
"Hang on tight and don't let go, sweetheart, things are about to get rough."

She wrapped her arms around my neck as we braced for impact. A few seconds later there was a loud "KRAKAKABOOOOMMM!!!"
The force of his landing caused another shockwave that launched us in the air and through the wall. We ended up outside in a pile of rubble.

I looked down at Tabitha.
"Are you alright?" I asked with concern in my voice. She unwrapped her arms and inspected herself. Aside from a cut on one of her hands she was okay.

Suddenly I heard an evil laugh coming from behind us. I turned around and there stood Black Bart in the gaping hole he made in his factory wall. His eyes were glowing brighter than ever and he still had an evil grin on his face.

"What's the matter?!? You losers don't have the guts to face me?!? He stomped two steps forward, causing the ground to shake. I stood up and dusted myself off as I reached for one of my kananas. I walked up to Black Bart and held up the pointy end of my katana to his throat.
"Back off, you glowing Hulk rip off!" I yelled at him.

He grabbed my katana with one hand and snapped it like a twig.
I pulled my now broken weapon back and gasped.
"Bea, no! Oh how am I going to break the news to Arthur! He's gonna be devastated! (In case you didn't know, I named my two katanas Bea and Arthur.)"
But before I could grieve properly, I was suddenly hit with a powerful smack. Black Bart bitch slapped me all the way back to the pile of rubble where I had left Tabitha.

She pulled me back up as I shook my head.
"Damn, that's gonna hurt in the morning!"
"Ha ha, you chumps ain't seen nothin' yet!"

We looked over at Black Bart as he was getting ready to pounce.
"Get to the van!" Tabitha yelled as we started running. I was scrambling to the van when I saw a giant shadow soar over me.
"Wait, don't move!" I shouted at Tabitha. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the shadow.