Deadpool's Day Out

Part 13: Thank You For Being A Friend

I woke up to the sun beaming down on my face-
Wade, that was how the story started. Now you're just going in circles.
Oh yeah, I forgot.

Well, dear readers, that's the story of arguably my craziest day ever. I'm sure I've had crazier ones, but don't remember them. Hell, I would've forgotten about this one if it weren't for Tabitha. And speaking of, I better go check on her.

I walked over to Tabitha, who was still passed out on the ground.
She was wearing nothing but a black lacy bra and matching panties.
I gently grabbed her shoulder and shook her.
She slowly opened her eyes and groaned.
"Morning, sunshine." I said jokingly. She looked over at me and put her hand over her eyes.
"What time is it?" she mumbled. "Don't know, early I guess."

Tabitha moved her hand and slowly started to stand up. She was a little shaky in her current state, so she fell a couple of times.
"Easy, Bambi. You want me to help you up?"
"No thank you." she grumbled at me. Note to self, Tabitha is not a morning person.
Once she was able to finally stand up, I gave her some reassurance.
"Well, you might feel like shit now, but you still look damn fine to me. Especially in that little number."

She immediately looked down saw she was only in her undergarments. Horrified, she tried to cover herself up with her arms and hands, but that wasn't doing much good.
Suddenly I recalled a memory from last night and started laughing.
"What is so funny?!?"

In between laughs I said "What's so funny is you're from U.R.A.N.U.S., and I'm pretty sure I did it in-"
*smack* "Ow!"
Tabitha smacked me across my face before I could finish explaining to her my clever observation.

Then she pulled me close and growled at me "We are never to speak of what happened last night. EVER. Or else I can arrange for a certain someone to lose a particular body part. Permanently. No healing will be possible. Do you understand?"
I gulped, knowing full well she was dead serious.
"Yes ma'am!" I replied while saluting her. She let me go, rolling her eyes while doing so.
"Good. Now help me find my clothes."

We looked around the area for a few minutes before she finally found her pants and black tank top. As she was putting those on, I stumbled across her other missing items.
"Here's your jacket, your boots are over by the tree, and also, I found this."

I held up her black weapons bag. She looked relieved that it wasn't lost. "Thank you. And I'm sorry I've been so snippy with you this morning, it's just I have a killer headache." I shrugged.
"Well, that's to be expected when you party hard like we did."

Tabitha chuckled. Then she asked
"So how come you're not hungover? Are you immune to alcohol?"
I shook my head.
"Trust me, I woke up with a major hangover. But thanks to my healing factor, I got over it in about ten minutes."
She smirked at me.
"Well lucky you."
We stood there awkwardly for a few moments before I broke the silence. "So, what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going to put in a call to U.R.A.N.U.S. HQ and ask them to send a research team and a clean up team. The research team is going to collect samples from Black Bart's remains for study, and the clean up team, well, they're gonna clean up this mess."
I looked around at the huge mess all around us.
"Man, I feel sorry for them."
Tabitha waved it off.
"Don't, they get paid pretty good to do what they do. Hell, they get paid more than I do."

I chuckled.
"So, will I be required for any of this, or-"
"No, our mission is complete. You are free to go."
I half smiled. I was happy that I could finally go home, but sad that Tabitha didn't need me anymore.
As I started walking towards the exit, I heard Tabitha say "Deadpool?"
I turned around and perked up, hoping she changed her mind.
"Yes?"
"Give me my bracelet back."

I slumped down as I walked over and handed her the teleportation bracelet. "Heh heh, I was hoping to keep it as a souvenir." She smirked.
"Nice try."
As I turned around and started walking away again, Tabitha shouted "Bye, Deadpool, thanks for your help!" I turned and waved.
"Later, sweetheart!"
I turned back and left Central Park.

One Hour Later

I eventually made it back to my street, sadness filling my mind.
"This stinks. My whole day yesterday was wasted. I didn't get to put myself in a food coma, my favorite suit is ruined, my katana Bea is broken, and worst of all, I missed the Golden Girls marathon!" I grumbled to myself.

"On the bright side, you can still put yourself in a food coma. Unless of course the restaurant is closed today..."
My eyes widened.
"You know what, you're right! I might not get to see my favorite ladies, but at least I can still eat my favorite food! And thanks to the cash I got from that job yesterday, I have more than enough money to do it!
Thanks, author lady,  you're a true friend! Even if you are annoying sometimes."
"I could say the same about you, Wade."

I went over to the Mexican restaurant and ordered about 200 tacos, and a Pepsi. After waiting for a little over 30 minutes, I eventually got my order and hauled it all back to my apartment, which thankfully was just down the street.

Once I got inside, I plopped all the tacos on the coffee table, along with my drink. Then I plopped down on my couch and sighed. Man it felt good to relax after a crazy day like yesterday.

After relaxing for a few minutes, I looked up at the clock on my wall.
It said 10:28 AM.
"Huh, I thought it was later than that. Oh well."
I picked up my day planner to see what I had on schedule. When I read what it said I was ecstatic!

As turns out, that Golden Girls marathon I thought I missed is actually a two day marathon! 
That means I only missed part one and part two is on right now!

I frantically looked around for the TV remote, eventually finding it in between the couch cushions.
I seriously need to get a couch pouch or something. I quickly turned on the TV and changed the channel to
TV Land.

I was just in time to hear the beginning of the theme song, and I couldn't help but sing along.
* "Thank you for being a frieeeend..."

Well everybody, we've reached the end of the story. It's been a fun ride, but now it's done. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my story. I hoped you all enjoyed reading the adventure as much I enjoyed writing it. And I plan on writing many more stories (not just Deadpool ones). Don't forget to comment and vote, and until next time: "Thank you for being a friend..."