The Lost Princess

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen
I tried to breathe, but it was hard. Luckily, the dinner was coming to an end and I was able to excuse myself without looking rude. Saxon  watched me go, and I couldn't decide if he heard the whole conversation or not.

Caroline watched me go as well, but didn't bat an eye about it. Something is definitely up with her.

I can't believe you didn't know. Or at least suspect.

I startled at his voice in my head. I turned around, not realizing he had followed me out.

"You knew," I questioned, ignoring his statement and pointing an accusatory finger in his direction.

Rowan threw up his hands in mock surrender. "Honestly, I figured you knew. I didn't realize it was one big secret."

"Well," I threw my hands up in the air, exasperated. "How dare they dictate my life like this! I don't even know Saxon. I'm not attracted to him. Am I really not getting a say in this?"

Rowan laughed. "It's the twenty first century. They can't force you to do anything."

I paused, my heart beginning to calm down a bit. "Wait. So I don't have to marry him?"

"Not necessarily. They will push you in his direction, and try to make you marry him, but they cannot actually force your hand. Most of the time, the princess goes along with the betrothal for the good of the kingdom, but no one can force her to do so."

I let out a sigh of relief. My heart finally went back to its normal beat, and my hands stopped shaking. "So I don't have to marry him."

Rowan shook his head and let out a small chuckle.

I tilted my head at him. "What?"

"It's just surprising how against this you are. Most girls would rejoice at the thought of marrying Saxon."

I scoffed. "I make my own decisions. Of course I'm against an arranged marriage."

Rowan raised his eyebrows. "So you're only against the arranged marriage, not at all against the fact that it was Saxon you are betrothed to?"

I bit my lip and sighed. The truth is, I could never see myself with Saxon. There's nothing wrong with him, there just isn't any chemistry between us. As ridiculous as it sounds, there is no spark. I read too much to settle for a relationship that doesn't make me feel something extraordinary.

Before I could tell Rowan all of that, the rest of the people at the dinner started to file out. Even Rowan knows better than to be caught talking to me. "We'll continue this conversation later."

With that, he was gone. I hurried off in the opposite direction, toward my room, so I wouldn't have to have a conversation with those coming out. I'm just not in the mood to deal with them.

*****

"Nice going, Amilia. The queen specifically told us not to tell her," Cameron groaned, pacing the library.

"She was bound to find out sometime," Selene shrugged.

"I'm sorry guys, you know how bad I am under pressure," Amilia protested.

I just sat with my head rested in my hands as they freaked out. Despite the reassurances from Rowan that they can't force me into anything, I still feel unsettled about the whole thing. I won't feel better until I talk to Saxon.

As they freaked out, the doors to the library opened. When Saxon walked through them, they instantly shut up.

"Can I talk to you for a minute," he questioned me.